


Because Happiness Is You

by whispered_story



Series: Because Happiness Is You [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:45:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4757009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he's sixteen, Jensen figures out he's gay. One and a half years later, he figures out he's in love with his best friend. [reposted, first posted on livejournal 5/9/2011]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jared has the best laugh ever. 

Jensen had noticed that the very first time he saw Jared, who was standing in front of his locker with his friends and laughing at something one of them must have said. Jensen had been new in town, his first day at school, and he'd hated every second of it until he'd laid eyes on Jared. Something inside him had unraveled when he'd watched Jared, head thrown back and deep dimples carved into his cheeks. Jensen had suddenly felt a little less uncomfortable in his new surroundings, less depressed about his whole life having been uprooted. It had come as a shock when his parents had decided they would rather live in a small town than in Dallas, and had moved them to Oak River, middle of nowhere, Texas, and before Jensen spotted Jared, he'd thought he'd never find a single thing he'd like about living in the small town.

It's a little pathetic that it took Jensen two more years and Danneel kissing him on her sixteenth birthday to figure out he was gay. And that he denied having feelings for Jared for more than another year.

"You should just tell him," Danneel says, resting her elbows on the book she's reading for class. 

"And risk our friendship? I can't do that."

"You told me you were gay while we were making out. You were like my first boyfriend, almost. And look at us – we're best friends now."

"I wasn't your boyfriend. And you punched me and made me grovel for weeks," Jensen points out.

"I didn't even leave a bruise," Danneel says, and rolls her eyes. "And Jared's not going to punch you if you tell him you like him. Jared's never punched another person in his life."

Jensen snorts. "Michael Haley, last year."

"Okay, there was that. But he called you a fag. He deserved it."

"I'm not gonna argue with that. All I'm saying is, Jared is not incapable of punching someone."

"Fine, so Jared has a mean, violent streak that comes out when someone insults you. Which only proves my point. Jared won't hate you for being in love with him," Danneel says, keeping her voice low. 

Luckily, the cafeteria is pretty empty; though, to be honest, Jensen has never seen the cafeteria not mostly deserted. Oak River High School, even with kids from surrounding farms and communities attending the school, is just as small as the town itself. Jensen spent the first 14 years of his life in Dallas, and even if he stopped complaining about small town life, he doesn't think he'll ever get used to how empty and quiet the school seems to be compared to his old one.

"He loves you, you dumb idiot," Danneel insists.

"But not like that."

"It's not impossible, you know? Until a couple of months ago I would have said Jared was straight and would settle down with a cute, nice girl one day. And now he's suddenly switched teams and is making out with guys. The boy is pretty unpredictable."

"He made out with one guy," Jensen says defensively, trying to keep his voice low. Accidentally outing Jared to the whole town probably wouldn't impress him very much. "You make it sound like he's hooking up with random guys left and right."

"Fine, he made out with one guy," Danneel parrots, rolling her eyes. "Stop getting defensive every time someone so much as implies that Jared isn't perfect. And anyway, what I'm trying to say is, you need to tell him. You've been miserable, Jensen."

"I just don't think it's a good idea," Jensen sighs.

"What isn't?" Jared asks, startling both Jensen and Danneel, who just barely manages not to knock her coke over and spill it all over her book. Jared flops down on the chair next to Jensen, scooting close enough so that their arms brush together. "Hey, guys."

"Hey. I thought there was a newspaper meeting during lunch today?" Jensen asks, hoping to appear casual but he can feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

"Yeah, but I decided to leave early. The meeting was pretty much just an excuse for Misha and Katie to fight over who should be editor this year. Again. They're acting as if we're running a huge newspaper and it actually matters," Jared says with a shrug, and steals a fry from Jensen's plate. "So, what don't you think is a good idea?"

"Some guy invited me to a party," Danneel chimes in, waving her hand dismissively, and Jensen feels relief rush through him. He loves Danneel a little more than he already does in that moment.

"What guy? And what party?" Jared asks, glancing at Jensen with a raised eyebrow before turning to Danneel.

"He's not from Oak River. I met him when I was shopping with Katie last week. Really, you don't have to go into overprotective brother-mode. I'm not going," Danneel says. She kicks Jensen's foot under the table and then starts gathering her things. "And I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to hit the library now. It's ridiculous; we're two weeks into the new school year and I'm already drowning in homework."

"You have one paper to write," Jensen reminds her, and Danneel rolls his eyes.

"Which is one too many," she says. "See you around? Gen and I thought we might go see a movie tonight."

"Sounds good," Jensen says, but Jared shakes his head quickly, floppy hair falling into his face and Jensen's fingers itch to touch it.

"Yeah, but we can't. Jensen and I have plans."

"We do?" 

Jared turns to him. "Yup," he says, nodding. He grins, looking so happy that Jensen finds himself unable to protest.

"Okay. Maybe tomorrow then. Call me, Jen?" Danneel winks at him and waves at them.

Jensen watches her leave, red hair swinging with each step. 

"So, what's the mysterious plan for tonight?" he asks.

"Nothing special," Jared says with a shrug and Jensen can feel the movement where Jared's pressed close. "It's been a while since we've hung out, just the two of us. I thought it'd be nice if we went for a drive."

Jensen smiles at that and nods. "I'd be up for that," he agrees, and Jared beams at him.

+

When Jensen first got his driver's license, he'd begged his parents to let him borrow their car and he and Jared went for a drive. They had ended up on an empty stretch of the highway, parked at the side of the road. Their small town had been left behind and they'd sat on the hood of the car until Jensen's parents had called his cell to ask where the hell he was. It became a thing after that.

It's one of Jensen's favorite things to do, something he never talks about to anyone but in passing because he likes how it's just theirs. How in those moments he feels like the rest of the world fades and it's just him and Jared.

+

"Don't do anything stupid," his mother says when the horn of Jared's car sounds from outside.

"Mom. Have I ever done anything stupid?" Jensen asks with a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun at dinner with dad."

"We will, sweetie. We might not come home until late, you know how these things are," she says with a small smile on her face. Jensen's parents go out to dinner with some friends once a month, and those evenings usually drag on and his parents stay out late. His mom still likes to act as if it's a big deal, the thought of Jensen being alone in the house at night, while his dad usually just rolls his eyes behind her back and reminds her that Jensen isn't a little kid anymore.

"Tell Jared he can stay the night, if he wants to," Donna adds, looking hopeful.

"Sure," Jensen replies, grabbing the bag of cookies his mother had made for them. Of course, they're Jared's favorite cookies, because Jensen secretly suspects his mother loves Jared more than she loves him. "I'll ask him to crash here so he can protect me from burglars. After all, I'm only seventeen, I'm really too young to be on my own in a big house. And I think the last time anyone committed a crime in this town was in, oh, 1963 maybe? It's a dangerous place to live, really."

"Oh, shut up, you," Donna says with a laugh. "There was a whole series of break-ins over the summer."

"I'll be fine, mom," Jensen says and presses a kiss to her cheek before rushing out of the house, grabbing his backpack on his way out.

Jared is drumming his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently, but he smiles when Jensen climbs into the truck. 

"My mom wants me to tell you you're free to stay at our place tonight," Jensen says, putting the cookies on the dashboard and his bag between his feet. 

"Got my toothbrush and a change of clothes with me," Jared replies. He starts backing the car out of the driveway, slinging his arm over Jensen's seat as he cranes his head back to see where he's going. "It's dinner night, right?"

"Yeah," Jensen says. "How will my mom ever survive me going off to college next year when she can't even leave me alone in the house without worrying?"

"She'll probably call you every five minutes and your dad will do his best to hide the phone from her," Jared teases but Jensen just makes a face, knowing Jared's prediction probably isn't too far off. 

"I wish I had siblings so she could focus some of her attention on someone else," Jensen sighs, and Jared laughs.

"Yeah. Siblings are totally enjoyable. Just last week Megan put toothpaste in my shampoo bottle. And Jeff still thinks he can boss me around just because I'm two years younger."

"But your parents leave you alone as long as you stay out of trouble," Jensen points out.

"I get fewer presents for Christmas cause my parents have to spend money on three kids instead of one," Jared replies, and Jensen laughs, wondering when this turned into a competition about who had the harder life.

"You don't have to do all the chores at home. There's nobody else my mom can rope into bringing out the trash and doing the dishes and mowing the lawn."

"Aww, but you'll make the perfect housewife for some lucky guy one day," Jared counters, and laughs when Jensen punches his arm. "I'm driving, Jen. No hurting the driver, unless you want me to kill us both."

"I want to kill _you_ sometimes," Jensen replies, and Jared glances at him, grinning widely. They both know killing Jared is pretty much the last thing that's on Jensen's mind on any given day.

They don't drive too far today – just far enough that they leave the last houses and scattered farms behind them. Jared pulls the car onto the side of the road, driving a little further, the wheels of his truck kicking up dust.

They settle onto the bed of the truck, a blanket spread out beneath them. Jared has a tupperware container with sandwiches and Jensen pulls out a plastic bottle of coke and drops the bag of cookies onto blanket.

"Hmm, perfect," Jared says, surveying their small spread. He picks up a sandwich and bites off half of it, cheeks bulging out as he chews loudly.

"You're a pig," Jensen says. Jared just grins.

"So, hey," he says after he's swallowed. "I wanted to ask if you can tutor me in Spanish?"

"We're only, like, two weeks into the new year."

"And I already know I'm gonna fail if you don't help me out. Which tells you how bad things are."

"What will I get in return if I agree?" Jensen asks teasingly.

"My gratitude."

Jensen sighs dramatically. "You use me, Padalecki."

"Yeah, it's true," Jared agrees, nodding seriously. He stuffs the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, nearly choking when Jensen kicks his thigh and he has to laugh.

They finish off the sandwiches and most of the cookies in no time, passing the bottle of coke back and forth between them. The sun is starting to set by the time they're done, basking everything into a golden hue and Jensen stretches his legs and breathes in, enjoying the clear air and silence all around them.

"You got any gum?" Jared asks, smacking his lips together and reaching for Jensen's backpack without waiting for an answer.

"Somewhere," Jensen answers with a shrug. He watches Jared dig around between his things.

"Hey. You brought your camcorder," Jared says, pulling it out. 

"When do I ever go anywhere without that thing?" Jensen asks. He spies the pack of gum in his open backpack and reaches for it. He takes one for himself before throwing the pack onto Jared's lap.

"Thanks," Jared replies, but he's too distracted with unzipping the small leather case Jensen's camcorder is in and pulling the camcorder out. He switches it on and flips open the screen on the side.

Jensen watches a small line of concentration form on Jared's face as he frowns down at the buttons, poking at them as if they might bite him if he presses the wrong one, and it makes something tug at Jensen's heart. Jared's good-looking – taller than any of the other guys at school, athletic, with a friendly, open face. But what Jensen likes the most about him is how downright adorable he sometimes is. While most guys their age try to act tough, Jared has preserved an almost childlike excitement and enthusiasm and Jensen loves watching him, cataloging every single one of Jared's expressions.

Jared grins suddenly and presses one of the buttons. Moments later, tiny voices come from the camcorder, first excited chatter and then a sudden hush before a loud off-key rendition of _Happy Birthday_ sounds.

Jared laughs. "Aww, you look so embarrassed," he all but coos, eyes still glued on the screen. "Who took this?"

"Gen, I think," Jensen says and crawls over the blanket, sitting back down at Jared's side. Jared tilts the screen so Jensen can see it too and Jensen leans into his side.

On screen, the song is coming to an end, everyone cheering. The video pans over their group of friends gathered in Jensen's backyard, before it settles on Jensen. Jensen cringes a little when he sees himself on-screen, and he indeed looks a little flushed. 

"Now cut the cake, Jensen," someone calls out and Jensen thinks he recognizes Misha's voice.

"And open your presents," Genevieve adds, voice sounding loud and clear coming from off screen. She was definitely the one taking the video then. She zooms in on Jensen cutting the cake, placing slice after slice onto plates.

"Put that thing away and come eat, Gen," Jared eventually calls out and Genevieve grumbles something under her breath before the screen goes blank.

"That was one awesome cake," Jared sighs wistfully, and Jensen laughs. 

"Yeah, it was good."

"You have some really old videos on here," Jared says, peering at tiny screen.

"I put in my spare memory card a couple of weeks ago. I didn't even know there was anything on it," Jensen shrugs and shifts, resting more comfortably against Jared. 

"We should do a movie night with everyone and look at all the stupid things you've filmed us doing over the last few years," Jared says with a laugh. 

He pushes a button and another video comes up, Danneel and Genevieve's faces appearing. They're both laughing and fumbling with the camera, which Danneel is holding out in front of them. Jensen got his first camcorder for his fifteenth birthday, and he's been documenting their lives ever since – birthdays, parties, or just their small group of friends lazing around. This year, for Jensen's birthday, the girls had decided to take over.

"Okay," Danneel says, then beams. "This is Jensen's official seventeenth birthday video. Happy birthday, baby!"

Jared stifles a snicker. "This should be good," he murmurs, voice close to Jensen's ear and Jensen shudders. 

"Okay, so," Danneel says on screen, shifting so only Genevieve is in the frame. "Gen, you start. What do you wanna tell Jensen for his birthday?"

"Jensen. Hi. First off, happy birthday!" she says happily, flipping dark hair out of her face. "Second, we're in your bedroom right now, as you can probably see. And we were totally not trying to find your porn collection. Cause we're awesome friends and wouldn't do that."

Off to the side, Jensen can hear Danneel stifling a laugh.

"But if you ever wanna share it with us, feel free to do so. You must have awesome gay porn hidden _somewhere_ ," Genevieve says gravely, and then giggles.

Jared snorts next to Jensen. "Why are we friends with them?" he asks and Jensen shrugs.

"In all seriousness though, I wanted to tell you that you're one of my favorite people in the world, Jensen, and I hope your birthday rocks. Last I saw you, you were dancing like a spazz with Jared and Misha in the living room, so I'm assuming you're enjoying yourself. Or Misha put something in those brownies, you never know. But I like seeing you so happy. It's a good look on you, so I'm glad you're having fun tonight. Love you!"

There's some shuffling, the picture shaking before Danneel comes into view. She waves. "Hi Jensen. Not that I think you'll ever forget me, but it's me, Danneel. Your favorite friend and your platonic soulmate. Non-platonic soulmate wasn't meant to be, but hey, who can say they turned the hottest guy in school gay, right? Guess I'll always have that. Plus, I get to ogle hot guys with you and your taste is impeccable. Anyway, I wanted to wish you all the best. Happy birthday, babe!"

The video ends then and Jared plays the next. There are more short videos of Danneel and Genevieve filming messages for Jensen from their friends, all of them wishing Jensen a happy birthday and telling him how awesome he is and being all sappy and smiley. Jensen watches with a rapt attention that almost mirrors Jared's, like it's the first time he's ever seen these videos. Danneel and Genevieve have had many stupid ideas since Jensen has met them, but he still thinks this one was actually a stroke of genius. 

Jared is the last to appear on-screen, all smiles and floppy hair falling in his face. "What do you want me to say?" he asks, eyes focused on something north of the screen. 

"Anything. Just something for Jensen to remember today," Danneel's voice comes and Jared nods.

He waves into the camera, beams happily. "Hi Jen. So, uh, happy birthday, man," he says and scratches the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. Jensen laughs softly. Jared is the most confident guy he knows, likes to strut around and hem it up, but turn a camera on him and he turns shy – which is why Jensen rarely wastes an opportunity to film him. "I guess this is supposed to be all sweet and sentimental, so you can watch this, I don't know, twenty years from now and won't think your friends in high school were total idiots. But, uh, you know, I hope when you do watch this twenty years from now, we'll still be friends anyway. I think we have a good shot at making that, right? I know when you first moved here you weren't too thrilled about living in Oak River and I guess it can get a little boring, but I hope all of us made things a little easier. I like to think we did, anyway. And I'm really, really glad your family moved here, you know? I can't imagine _not_ having you here with us and I hope you know how much you mean to all of us. To me."

There's a moment of silence, Jared looking past the camera, and then Danneel says, "That was great, Jay," and the screen goes black.

Jensen bites his lower lip and glances up at Jared, who looks like he's blushing. "That _was_ great," he agrees, and Jared smiles.

"I looked like a dork," he mutters.

"You always do," Jensen replies, trying to sound casual and not like he wants to lean close and kiss Jared breathless because of some birthday message he recorded months ago. He's so fucking screwed.

Jensen quickly sits up, needing to put some space between them before he does something stupid. 

He takes the camcorder, changes the setting, and then presses record, shifting back until he can see Jared perfectly on the small screen. The light of the setting sun makes his hair glow bronze and the shadows playing over his features makes his dimples seem deeper, his jaw a little sharper.

"What are you doing?" Jared asks, a whine in his voice and the happy smile is replaced with a frown. 

"Filming you," Jensen replies. "For prosperity. So twenty years from now I can sit down, watch this and remember my idiot friends from high school."

"Haha," Jared grumbles and looks down at his hands before looking back up. "What d'you want me to do?"

"Nothing," Jensen shrugs. "Just be you. Tell me something."

"Uh, okay," Jared mumbles and looks around. "We're on the side of the highway, umm, and you're forcing me to be filmed. I feel a little violated."

"You're an idiot. You're turning this into a stupid video." Jensen complains playfully, and Jared laughs, eyes crinkles up. 

Jensen tries to hold the camcorder steady and thinks maybe this won't be a bad video after all, Jared's laugh forever caught.

+

On Saturday mornings, most juniors and seniors meet at the diner on the main road. There's rarely ever anyone Jensen doesn't know from high school at the diner those mornings. Everyone else seems to know to come in earlier or just go somewhere else altogether for breakfast. It's like the diner is just theirs for those few hours each week.

It's one of Jensen's favorite things about living in Oak River.

As much as he hated living in a small town at first, missing the comforts of a big city bustling with life, he's come to appreciate a lot of things. There are times he hates the lack of anonymity, everyone knowing everyone and every little piece of gossip spreading like a wildfire around Oak River. But he likes stepping into the diner on Saturday mornings, seeing nothing but familiar faces. It's a tradition, and Jensen likes the way it makes him feel like he's part of them, part of a small community. The first few months, after Jared and Danneel had taken him under their wings and invited him everywhere, he'd teased them about things like these, how the town was so boring that even meeting in a diner for breakfast became a big happening, but Jensen wouldn't want to miss this for anything in the world now.

He weaves his way past tables, waving at half of the people, until he reaches their table. 

"Morning," Danneel mumbles, spotting him first. She looks up at him sleepily and waves with one hand, though it looks more like her hand flops back and forth a couple of times. A chorus of greetings from everyone else follows and Jensen takes the empty seat between Jared and Genevieve.

Misha has his head pillowed on his arms and it looks like he's fallen asleep again and Katie's head is resting on Matt's shoulder, hair falling into her face. Jensen can't help the yawn that escapes him.

"Wow, aren't you all fun this morning," Genevieve teases, nudging Jensen's side with her elbow.

"I'm never fun in the morning," Jensen grumbles, and those awake enough at their little table make various noises of agreement.

"I ordered coffee for everyone already," Jared assures him, stroking his hand down Jensen's back once. Jensen wonders if he could blame his tiredness if he leaned into Jared's side and rested his head on Jared's shoulder. It wouldn't be the first time, but usually they're at someone's house and either drunk or about to fall asleep, and Jensen craves those moments. He glances at Katie and Matt enviously, wishing he could have what they have as well and then looks away quickly, suppressing a sigh. There's a flyer on the table and he grabs it, skims it just to distract himself and feels Jared lean a little closer, looking over his shoulder. 

"What's that?" he asks.

"County fair in Barnesville next Friday," Jensen says.

"Yup," Genevieve chimes in. "They'll be here for a week."

"Awesome." Jared grabs the flyer from Jensen's hand. "We're so going there."

"Saturday?" Danneel asks hopefully, perking up. "I have to work on Friday."

"We could skip breakfast here and go early, spend the whole day at the fair," Jared suggests, bobbing his head.

"I'm in," Matt says and Katie nods.

"Yup, me too," Genevieve agrees and then reaches out to shake Misha's arm.

"I promised my dad I'd help him clean out the garage," Jensen says, and Jared looks at him with a pout.

"Come on," he wheedles. "Can't you do that on Sunday?"

"I'll ask," Jensen shrugs.

"I'll come by later. Reinforcement. Your parents love me, I can totally talk them into letting you go with us," Jared says.

"Hopefully," Danneel says. "I need someone on the rollercoaster with me to hold my hand."

"I'll hold your hand," Misha offers, obviously awake now and knuckling his eyes.

"As I said, I need someone on the rollercoaster with me to hold my hand. Jensen must come," Danneel repeats pointedly and everyone laughs.

+

"Can't you go another time?" his dad asks when Jensen tells him about the fair.

"Everyone else wants to go on Saturday. We could do the garage on Sunday."

"Jim and I wanted to go fishing on Sunday," Alan says, frowning.

"Oh," Jensen replies and looks at his mother pleadingly.

She passes the platter with sandwiches on to Jensen. "The garage really needs to be cleaned. You two have made a mess in there, stacking the whole thing full of junk up to the ceiling. And you've been promising me for weeks that you'd take care of it."

Both Jensen and his dad makes protesting noises but don't say anything when Donna glares at them. Jensen knows she's not exactly lying – she had forbade them from putting their stuff in the attic when they moved into the house because she wanted to use the space to store old furniture she'd inherited from her parents after they'd passed away. Jensen and his dad had taken over the garage instead, steadily filling it with things they didn't need anymore but couldn't part with just yet – and to Jensen's mom's dismay, both Jensen and his dad are pretty bad at parting with things. By now the garage is stacked with boxes upon boxes of Jensen's old things and his dad finds a new hobby every few months, steadily adding things to the garage as well.

"A box of painting utensils came crashing down last week. Thank god it missed the car," Donna complains and Jensen quickly points at his dad.

"Those were his."

"Oh, I always wanted a backstabbing son," Alan says dryly. "Weren't you just asking me for a favor?"

"I was just pointing out a fact," Jensen replies quickly, and his dad's lips quirk up into a smile. "Come on, dad. You know the fair's a big thing. Everyone's going."

"We'll see," Donna says, patting Jensen's arm. "Now pass me the iced tea, darling."

Jensen sighs and hands over the pitcher of homemade iced tea. 

After lunch, he quickly retrieves his cell phone from his backpack and texts Jared ' _reinforcement needed!_ '

Jared is at his house not fifteen minutes later, leaning his bike against the banister of the porch before jogging up to the door. "Where are your parents?"

"Backyard," Jensen says, stepping aside to let him pass. He follows Jared outside, smiling to himself at the delighted look on his mother's face when she spots Jared.

"Jared. I didn't know you were coming over," she says and gets up to hug Jared.

"Just felt like dropping by," Jared says and reaches out to shake Alan's hand. It always amuses Jensen when they do that, as if both his parents didn't adore Jared like he was their son as well. "Hi, Mr. Ackles. How's work?"

"Can't complain," Alan replies with a smile. "And school?"

"If Jensen helps me out with Spanish, everything will be great," Jared says and sits down at the table when Donna pulls a chair back for him and hands him a glass of iced-tea. "Thanks."

"That's great," she says, patting Jared's hand. "You should come around for dinner more often, hon. We've barely seen you lately."

"Sure. How about next Saturday after the county fair?" Jared asks, apparently foregoing subtlety, and both Jensen's parents smirk. 

"Ah, so that's why you're gracing us with your presence on this fine Saturday afternoon."

"Yeah," Jared replies easily. "I'm willing to beg, too, if necessary. Please?"

"It's not that we don't want to let Jensen go," Donna says, giving both Jared and him a look.

"You could clean the garage out on Sunday, right?" Jared asks hopefully.

"My dad has plans on Sunday," Jensen says and Jared looks at him, crestfallen, and it makes Jensen's heart clench. He turns to give his father a pleading look. "I could clean it out on my own."

"There's so much junk in there," Donna says doubtfully.

"I'll help him then. I'll come by bright and early and we'll work as long as it takes to clean the whole thing. I promise," Jared suggests.

"Well, I'm not saying no to getting around having to do it myself," Alan says with a grin and Jared beams.

"Thanks, dad," Jensen says and then looks at his mother, waiting until she nods and Jared whoops.

+

Jensen erases the ending of a verb Jared has scribbled down and carefully pencils in the right one, then sighs when Jared has made the same mistake in the next sentence.

"You can't conjugate verbs for shit, can you?" he asks, looking up from Jared's Spanish homework.

Jared winces. "No. But that's why I have an awesome tutor to teach me that kinda stuff now," he says happily, popping a fry into his mouth.

Danneel snorts. "I just can't see this ending well."

"Why not?" Jensen asks.

"Because, Jensen, you're not exactly the kind of guy I can imagine teaching. You're impatient and you get frustrated really easily."

"I'm a good student though," Jared points out. "It'll be fine."

"Or you'll tear each other's heads off," Misha muses. "It's gonna fuck up the whole group dynamic we have going for us and we'll all start fighting and stop speaking to each other and all end up sitting alone in our own little corner during lunch. It'll be sad."

"Uh, right," Jensen drawls out, looking back down at the piece of paper and then groans when he reads the next sentence. "Did you even put any effort into this?"

"Yes," Jared says, giving him a hurt look.

"It's already starting," Misha groans and Danneel just cackles.

"You sound like the evil witch from...some movie with an evil witch," Jensen mutters.

"Wizard of Oz," Jared suggests and Jensen nods.

"Right, Wizard of Oz. Or what's her name, the one from Harry Potter?"

"Umbridge," Jared says, then grins. "See, Jensen might be frustrated with my lacking Spanish skills, but our friendship is as deep and awesome as ever."

"You forgot sickening," Danneel adds. "You two are worse than Katie and Matt, and those two have public displays of affection going against them so that should tell you something."

"Hmm," Jared cocks his head to the side. "It tells me that if Jensen and I started making out, we'd probably drive you over the edge for good."

Jensen nearly chokes on his own spit and he ducks his head back down and focuses on Jared's homework again. He hopes nobody can see his face from this angle.

"Well, since you're newly gay, it's not beyond the realm of possibility. You should give it a try, just to see what Danneel will do," Misha says thoughtfully, and Jensen wants to die. He's sure there's a look of utter mortification on his face, and he needs this conversation to be over before anyone notices how uncomfortable it's making him.

He clears his throat and quickly gets up, gathering his books. "I need to go. I need to get some books from my locker before the next class," he says hastily and then waves at Jared's homework. "Jay, I'll give you this in Calculus."

"Okay," Jared says, sounding a little unsure, and Jensen can feel everyone's eyes on him as he quickly retreats, cheeks flaming red and palms a little sweaty.

He's standing in front of his locker when he feels a hand on his arm and he turns to find Danneel.

"You okay?" she asks.

"Yeah," Jensen nods. "I acted like an idiot in there, didn't I?"

Danneel grimaces and shrugs. "A little."

"You think Jared suspects something now?" He runs a hand over his face and feels his eyes sting a little with angry tears.

"It's Jared," Danneel sighs. "For someone so smart he can be a little thick. He's probably just a little worried about you. Come up with a good excuse and it'll be fine."

"Yeah, okay."

Danneel squeezes his arm gently. "Or you could just tell him," she says, voice softer. She sighs when Jensen shakes his head and steps closer, hugging him. Jensen rests his face on the top of her head for a moment and closes his eyes.

+

Jensen flops down on Danneel's bed, shifting around until he finds a comfortable position on her millions of pillows. Danneel lies down next to him, their shoulders touching.

"Did you talk to Jared?" she asks.

"We had Calculus together," Jensen reminds her.

"And?"

Jensen shrugs. "It was okay. Just told him I had a headache and all this talk about relationships and stuff made me feel a little frustrated. It was fine. He didn't bring it up again, at least."

Danneel sighs. "This time," she says. "You can't keep this a secret from him forever."

"I can try," Jensen kids. "Plus, maybe it'll pass. I'll meet some awesome guy and fall in love and forget all about Jared."

"You really believe that?" 

"No," Jensen says and frowns. "Let me have my fantasies, Dani."

"Sorry," she mumbles and kisses him on the cheek. "It'll work out. I promise."

Jensen sighs and wishes he had Danneel's confidence, her utmost faith that even when things are shitty, somehow everything will be okay in the end. Her outlook on life seems to be working for her, but Jensen can't help but think that this whole thing is going to fuck up his whole life if Jared ever finds out about it.

+

On Saturday morning, Jensen lounges around in his kitchen, waiting to be picked up.

As always, Jared honks when he arrives and Jensen quickly gathers his things and meets him outside. Jared's already collected Danneel and Misha and Jensen has to sit in the back with Misha, Danneel sticking his tongue out at him.

Barnesville is a few towns over and Jared turns the music up – country, because Jared claims it will get them in the mood and glances back at Jensen with a happy grin. Country music is Jensen's favorite, and Jared knows it, but most days when it's all of them Danneel vetoes country music, claiming that just because they live in a small town in Texas, doesn't mean they have to act like it. Jensen's stopped trying to tell her that it's not the country music that makes them walking clichés, really, but she refuses to listen to it.

They meet up with the others in the parking lot in Barnesville, all of them jittering with excitement and Jensen has a moment of feeling a little stupid for being this excited about a fair, but then the smell and music hits him and he stops caring.

They hit a few different rollercoasters first, and Danneel holds his hand on every single one, screaming at ever dip and curve while Jensen just throws his head back and laughs.

"What next?" Jared asks when they stumble away from the Top Spin, flushed and his hair wild.

"That swinging thingy," Matt says, pointing ahead.

"Zipper?" Jared asks doubtfully. "I'm out, man. I was in that thing once in my life and I threw up for hours afterward."

"It might have been the truckload of candy you had before getting on," Genevieve points out, and Jared swats her.

"Shh, traitor. It doesn't matter – either way, I'm traumatized. You all go ahead though," he says, waving them off.

"I think I'll sit this one out, too," Misha agrees and Jensen nods.

"Yeah. I like rides, but I don't need to be tossed around like that."

"You all are pussies," Katie says, shaking her head. "Men these days, really."

"Whatever, Cassidy," Jared replies, puffing out his chest and flexing his arms. Katie only laughs and takes Matt's hand, dragging him off. Genevieve and Danneel follow them and Jared deflates.

"Okay, what now, guys?" he asks seriously. "Food? Booths? Another ride?"

"Something where we stay on the ground for a while," Misha suggests and Jensen shrugs as if he doesn't care, but he's secretly glad for Misha's suggestions. He loves rides, but he can only go on so many in a row before he stomach starts to protest.

Jared uses his height to look around, craning his head back and forth. "Okay, we can choose between tossing rings, mini basketball, coconut shy, I can see one of those fortune teller booths, and a shooting booth."

"Mini basketball?" Jensen suggests with a shrug, and Misha shrugs as well.

"Okay, I'll go do coconut shy. I rock at that," Jared says, and they head off.

Misha and Jensen pass the time throwing basketballs, standing side by side and trying to outdo the other. They end up trying to distract each other more than focusing on their own game. Misha misses most of his shots, laughing too hard to really throw straight and Jensen does a fist pump when he wins their little competition by far. They're about to start a second round when Jared calls their names, whooping.

Jensen turns around and laughs when he sees Jared clutching a pink stuffed animal. "I totally kicked ass," Jared says proudly.

"And won a pink – what is that?" Misha asks.

Jared turns the animal around with a grin. "A monkey."

"Go you," Misha says dryly and pats Jared's shoulder. "You're the man, Padalecki."

"Damn right," Jared nods and then turns to Jensen. "Admit it, it's awesome."

"Prettiest pink monkey I've ever seen," Jensen says, placing his hand over his heart, and Jared beams.

"Right?" he says, and then hands Jensen the monkey. "For you."

"Thank you?" Jensen takes the monkey and looks down at it. The fact that it's _pink_ of all things aside, it's probably the ugliest monkey Jensen has ever seen.

"Cause you're my favorite person in the world," Jared says with a grin. He frames Jensen's face with his hands, warm and strong, and presses a smacking kiss to Jensen's forehead. Jensen can feel himself blush. He clutches the stuffed animal to his chest and clears his throat.

"Gay PDA at a fair in Texas. We're so not going to get beaten up," Misha says.

"Jensen and I can take them," Jared replies with a nod, straightening up.

"Come on," Jensen says, hitting Jared in the arm. "I bet the others are done with their ride and are probably looking for us."

"I want food next," Jared says. He's back to craning his head around and then leads them to where he has spotted Danneel's red hair in the crowd.

They pass the day with more rides and enough food that Jensen is surprised none of them starts puking. Between them they win three more stuffed animals, a plastic bracelet that Misha proudly wears and balloons that they give to a little girl. Jensen is stuffed and happy and a little sunburned by the end of the day, but he only puts up a token of protest when Jared talks them into going on the Ferris Wheel before going home.

"You can't go to a fair and not ride the Ferris Wheel," he says. 

Compared to some of the other Ferris Wheels Jensen's been on, this one is pretty small and they have to split up, each gondola only holding two people.

"Jensen and I will go with Eddie," Jared says, and Jensen groans.

"We're not calling the monkey Eddie," he replies. "In fact, we're not naming the monkey at all. Because the monkey is a stuffed animal."

"Don't listen to him, Eddie," Jared says, petting the monkey's head before taking Jensen by the arm. "Okay, we're up. See you guys in a few."

Jensen lets himself get dragged to the empty gondola by Jared. They take their seat and before long they're slowly moving up, higher and higher until they have the perfect view over the whole fair. 

"Pretty awesome, huh?" Jared asks. He slides his arm around Jensen and Jensen lets him, simply leans into Jared and enjoys having his body so close, warm and skin damp with sweat from the heat of the day.

"I should have brought my camcorder," Jensen says wistfully.

"Next time," Jared murmurs back and tugs him a little closer still.

+

Jensen places Eddie onto his nightstand and pretends it's all just a big joke; that looking at the pink, furry thing doesn't make a wave of fondness rush through him and his stomach flutter. 


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen clearly didn't think cleaning out the garage with Jared through properly. 

Jared shows up bright and early on Sunday, beaming at Jensen when he opens the door, still half asleep.

"I'm ready to get to work and get dirty," Jared says, saluting Jensen. He's wearing a washed out pair of jeans that cling to him almost obscenely and a thin, gray shirt. Jensen almost chokes on his own spit. 

It doesn't take long before they're both sweating, the late summer heat getting more and more oppressive as the hours drag on. Jensen feels disgusting, damp with sweat, grime and dust sticking to his skin. And Jared keeps moaning about wanting to jump into the pool in the Ackles' backyard.

"We should have a pool party or something," he suggests, wiping his forehead with his arm. His hair is sticking to his forehead and there's a smudge of dirt on his cheek. There are dark patches down his back, at the collar of his shirt and under his arms.

Jensen wants to tackle him to the ground and lick the sweat off him and he feels heat pooling in his stomach. The box he's carrying slips out of his grip, just barely missing his foot, and Jensen curses.

"You okay?"

"Fine," Jensen grunts, and tells himself to get his act together. He bends down quickly and picks the box back up. It makes his back ache and the muscles in his arms burn and Jensen thinks no seventeen year old should feel like this.

A few hours later, Jensen feels like he could keel over and die, but the garage is less cluttered than it's been in years, the shelves a lot emptier and there's a heap of junk that can be thrown out for good.

"I'm dead," Jared says, collapsing onto the front yard. Jensen sinks down next to him, laying flat on his back. The grass feels cool against his skin and Jensen lets out a loud sigh.

"I'm not moving for at least a week," he breathes out.

"Yeah, except I can smell myself and it's not pleasant. We need a shower, man."

"Shower alone," Jensen mumbles, eyes sliding shut. There's a moment of silence, and then Jared chuckles softly.

"Are you saying you don't want to shower with me? I'm hurt, Jensen," he teases and fuck, Jensen walked right into that one. The thought of showering with Jared, water cascading down Jared's smooth, tanned skin and pressing his body up against him pops into Jensen's head. He flips onto his stomach, face burning with embarrassment. It's pretty much his default setting around Jared lately, it seems.

"You go shower. I'll stay here for a while," he mutters.

"All right," Jared agrees, getting up with a grunt.

Jensen buries his face in his arms and groans once Jared is out of ear-shot. He tries his hardest not to picture Jared, upstairs in Jensen's bathroom, pulling off his dirty, sweaty clothes, stepping under the spray of the shower. 

Life fucking sucks.

+

"Drama club meeting is today," Jared says, giving Jensen a pointed look.

Jensen sighs. "I already said I'd go."

"I'm going with him," Katie chimes in. "I won't let him pussy out this year."

"I didn't pussy out," Jensen huffs, leaning against the banister. A group of girls pushes past them on their way inside, making Danneel shuffle a little closer.

"What would you call it?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I decided against joining because I was already busy with other stuff."

"Like what?" Jared asks.

"I ran track," Jensen says and everyone else snorts and laughs. Jensen crosses his arms over his chest.

"You quit after a few weeks," Genevieve reminds him.

"Whatever. I was too busy for drama club last year. And I took photos for the newspaper."

"Oh, come on. You took photos and I asked you if we could have them," Jared says, bumping his shoulder against Jensen's.

"What business is it of yours anyway?" Jensen grumbles.

"You wanna do it," Jared says, losing the teasing tone his voice had before. "I know you regretted not giving it a try when we went to see the play last summer."

"I already said I'm doing it this year."

"Good, cause you promised me," Jared says and picks up his backpack when the bell chimes, hitching it up over his shoulder. He leans in closer to Jensen as they walk up the stairs side by side, the others following behind. "If Katie tells me you didn't go, I'll drag you to the next one myself even if I have to carry you."

"I'm already shaking with fear, big guy," Jensen snorts, but he smiles at Jared and Jared grins back.

Jensen ends up going to the meeting and by the end of it he's glad. Their history teacher, Mr. Morgan, has taken over the drama club this year and he seems delighted to see Jensen at the meeting. He tells everyone to call him Jeff or JD, and then talks about how he used to act in school and what a great experience it was. It's a small group, but everyone seems to take the prospect of putting together a play seriously, discussing possible plays and Cindy, another senior, volunteers to take care of the costumes while Simon, a junior, says he and a couple of his friends can help build sets.

Jeff passes out sheets of papers with dialogue in the last fifteen minutes and tells them to get together in pairs of twos and act the scenes out, while he goes around and observes them. Jensen and Katie team up and when Jeff gets to them, he watches them for a minute and nods.

"Good," he says and smiles at them and Jensen feels a surge of pride.

"That wasn't too bad," Jensen says when they filter out of the room.

Katie hooks her arm around Jensen. "It was pretty damn awesome. Jeff is great," she says.

Jensen snorts. "You get a thrill out of saying his name, right?"

Katie laughs and nods. "Oh, come on, everyone did. It was all 'Jeff here' and 'JD there'," she says and then nudges Jensen with her elbow. "You were pretty good, you know. In the scene we did. You should definitely try out for the lead."

"We haven't even decided on a play yet," Jensen says, protesting. "And you were good, too."

"Thanks," Katie says with a grin. "But we do have some competition. I think Cindy is pretty good. And Jake."

Jensen's face twists involuntarily at the mention of Jake. 

"What?" Katie asks with a grin.

"Nothing. I just never liked Jake."

"Never, as in since he made out with Jared, huh?" she asks knowingly and Jensen flushes. 

There'd been a party at the pond during the summer, most of the older kids from high school gathering there. It had been fun, until Jared had started talking to Jake. They'd both had a bit to drink, and Jensen tells himself that was the only reason why he and Danneel had eventually found Jared hidden behind a few trees, pressed together with Jake and kissing as if their lives depended on it. Jensen had never really noticed Jake much before; he'd always seemed rather quiet and shy. But now his stomach twists whenever he sees him. Jared's never mentioned him afterward, never hung out with him or gone out on a date as far as Jensen knows, but he'd officially come out to all of them the next day. The fact that Jared never talked to him about it, never mentioned to Jensen that he might like guys when Jensen came out over a year earlier, didn't help the situation either. It had stung – both that Jared never confided in him and that he'd made out with Jake but had never shown any interest in Jensen.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he mutters.

"I have eyes, Jensen. You like Jared," Katie teases, and Jensen shrugs.

"I just don't like Jake."

"Because he made out with Jared," Katie sing-songs. "I get it, okay. Kara Mills? Lovely girl. But she dated Matt before I did and I already had the biggest crush on Matt back then. She's not exactly someone whose company I've enjoyed ever since."

"It doesn't matter," Jensen says. "It's probably just because Jared's the only other gay guy I know and he's my best friend, so of course I'm gonna crush on him. It's nothing."

"Oh, honey," Katie says and squeezes his arm. Jensen pretends not to see the pity written all over her face.

+

Jeff brings a bunch of plays to the next meeting and ideas get thrown around, cons and pros of each play are discussed and Jensen mostly holds back. He knows some of the others have done drama for a while and he feels too new to it to really add anything to the discussions. 

In the end, they settle on _The Tempest_ – because Jeff claims you can't go wrong with Shakespeare and the play can be adjusted to fit their small group.

"Who are you going to audition for?" Danneel asks, leafing through the pages. They're sprawled out on the couches in her basement, waiting for the others to come so they can start their movie night. The small coffee table is already littered with snacks and drinks and Danneel has brought a whole stack of DVDs from her dad's collection downstairs.

Jensen shrugs. "I don't know yet."

Katie makes a noise of protest. "Prospero, obviously."

"No way," Jensen replies quickly, and Danneel flips back to the first page where the characters are listed.

"He's the lead," she says, and Jensen nods.

"Which is exactly why I'm not auditioning for him."

"You're good, Jensen," Katie says, and she gives Jensen a pointed look. "Stop putting yourself down."

"No," Jensen repeats, shaking his head.

"I'll study lines with you and help you. Come on, you know you can do it."

"I've never done this before. I can't go for the lead," he protests.

Danneel snorts. "We're in high school, darling. A high school in a small town. Nobody's expecting you to be George Clooney or whatever, and I'm sure Mr. Morgan isn't going to ask for credentials."

"But some of the others have done plays before. They have more experience," Jensen argues. Like Jake, he thinks bitterly, and the thought of beating Jake out for the role almost makes him change his mind.

"You're good though. Good enough for the lead," Katie presses.

"You've done one scene me with. One."

"Jensen."

"Katie."

"Jensen," Danneel chimes in, and then hits him with the play. "Stop arguing with us. Look, in the end, the person who does the best audition will get the role. Let Mr. Morgan decide who that is and just give it a shot. You have nothing to lose."

"My dignity," Jensen replies with a frown.

"Oh, please. You lost that ages ago," Danneel shoots back with a laugh. 

Jensen glares before tackling her. His fingers dance over Danneel's ribs, making her shriek and buck under him, trying to throw him off. And then Katie piles on top of them, and of course traitor that she is, she tries to help Danneel, and soon Jensen finds himself trying to fight them both off, laughing and yelling at them to stop.

"What are you guys doing?" Jared asks, voice amused, and Jensen glances up. Jared is standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a grin on his face.

"Teaching Jen a lesson," Danneel replies and pinches Jensen's side. Jensen yelps.

"You're a pain in my ass, Harris," he groans, and tries to push her off him.

"Oh you wish you knew what it is like to feel pain in your –" Katie starts, and Jensen quickly clamps a hand over her mouth while Danneel falls forward, laughing.

"Katie!" Jensen exclaims.

"She was trying to say that you wish you knew what it is like to feel pain in your ass," Jared offers smugly, and steps over them. He squishes into the small space left on the couch.

"I hate you all," Jensen mutters, and twists out from underneath Katie and Danneel.

"I brought gummy worms," Jared says.

"Maybe hate is too strong a word for you," Jensen quickly amends. "I hate Katie and Danneel though."

"I can live with that," Jared agrees. He digs around in his backpack and lobs a bag of gummy worms onto Jensen's lap moments later. "So, what's up? How was the drama club?"

"Jensen's trying out for the lead," Katie says, and Jensen kicks at her.

"I said I wouldn't."

"Well, we decided you would," Danneel replies with a smirk.

"You should," Jared agrees, nudging Jensen's arm. "Sometimes you just gotta go for something and see how it turns out."

"Yeah. Have you ever done that?" Jensen asks challengingly.

"I went for the school newspaper our sophomore year, didn't I?"

"Your brother's girlfriend was the editor, dumbass, and Misha was already on the paper as well. They couldn't say no."

Jared frowns. "Are you saying they didn't let me join solely based on my awesomeness? You're breaking my heart, Jensen."

"What heart?" 

"Oh, just for that I'm never talking to you again. Unless you audition for the lead," Jared says gravely. He gives Jensen puppy dog eyes, lower lip jutting out just so, and Jensen hates how quickly he melts at the sight.

"I'll think about it," he mutters.

"Sucker," Danneel whispers into his ear, voice so low nobody but Jensen can hear it. Jensen digs his elbow into her side until she yelps and moves away.

+

Jared has some weird superstitions, but Jensen finds it kind of endearing. He always puts his right shoe on first, he has a picture that his little sister drew for him in elementary school in his wallet that he refuses to take out, and he never takes off the slim, black leather bracelet wrapped around his wrist. The only time Jensen has seen him without it were the few times he had to get the clasp fixed and then Jared would swear up and down that everything that went wrong was happening because he wasn't wearing the bracelet. Danneel and Genevieve had given it to him for his twelfth birthday, long before Jensen knew any of them, and it's been Jared's good luck charm ever since.

The day of the auditions, Jared takes it off and wraps it around Jensen's wrist, fastening the clasp before Jensen can say anything. 

Jensen can't help looking at it, smiling every time he glances at it. The unfamiliar feel of it around his wrist calms him down a little.

"You'll be fine," Katie whispers, rubbing Jensen's arm. She's already done with her audition, and there's a proud, happy look on her face even though Jensen knows she's trying not to be too giddy before Jensen's done as well.

"I feel sick," Jensen replies, rubbing his stomach.

"I did too. But once I was on that stage, and Jeff gave me the go ahead, it got better," she says. "You'll kick ass."

"Yeah," Jensen says, trying to sound confident, and nods. He gives Katie a weak smile and looks around at everyone else. He spies Jake, standing just a few feet to their right. "I have Jared's bracelet, so what can go wrong?"

He asks the question loudly, making sure Jake hears him. He's not sure what brought it on and he feels like a fool before the words are even completely out, but it's mixed with smugness when Jake glances at them.

Katie leans forward, pressing her face into Jensen's shoulder to stifle the giggles. 

"Oh, Jensen," she says when she pulls away, face red and an amused grin on her face.

Jensen grimaces. "Don't," he grumbles, and then tenses when Jeff calls his name.

Katie sobers up immediately, taking his hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. "Good luck," she says and leans forward to press a kiss to Jensen's cheek.

+

"How'd it go?" Jared asks, yelling across the small parking lot. Jensen realizes he must have been waiting for them, along with Matt, and they push away from Jared's truck when they see Jensen and Katie and come to meet them.

Katie grins and waves. "Great," she replies. She lets go off Jensen's arm and skips forward to meet Matt, laughing when he hugs her and kisses the top of her head.

Seconds later, Jared reaches him and engulfs him in a tight hug. Jensen lets out a startled yelp when he finds himself being lifted off the ground, Jared laughing delightedly.

"Put me down, Jared. Just because you're freakishly tall, doesn't mean you can throw me around like a rag doll," he complains, and his feet touch the ground again.

"Was it really great? You were awesome, weren't you?" Jared asks, sounding excited and giddy, and Jensen shrugs.

"This probably helped," he says, holding up his wrist where Jared's bracelet is still fastened. He unclasps it then, and hands it back to Jared with a smile. "But I think I did all right."

"Bullshit," Katie butts in. "You should have seen him. He was absolutely brilliant. There's no way he's not going to get Prospero."

"I knew it," Jared murmurs, looking down at Jensen with a grin. "Knew you could do it."

He pulls away then, and gives Katie a hug as well, kissing her temple with a loud smack that has Katie laughing. Jensen lets Matt hug him, too, and ducks when Matt tries to ruffle his hair.

"Come on. We're meeting the others at the diner for milkshakes," Matt says, pushing Jensen towards Jared's truck. "We gotta celebrate having two future actors among our midst."

+

There's a field party that Saturday. The turnout is pretty good, even though the last party out in the fields got busted by the police (luckily, after Jensen and the others had already left) – though, Jensen suspects maybe that's exactly why so many people are here tonight. That, and the fact that there's really nothing else to do in town.

Misha and Matt head off to find beer the second they arrive, and Katie tags along. They mingle for a while and Jensen, being appointed driver along with Danneel tonight, stays with Danneel and Genevieve while Jared wanders off when he spies friends of his brother that wave him over.

Jensen, Danneel, and Genevieve soon get roped into a conversation that somehow turns into a discussion about how fucking disgusting the cafeteria food is with some people from their classes. Apparently, everyone else feels just as strongly about the topic as Jensen does and before long they're all listing the vilest things the cafeteria has ever served them for lunch. The meatloaf that gave half of the school food poisoning wins out, in the end, even though the gooey stuff that was supposedly some kind of vegetable soup is a close second.

When the group slowly scatters into different directions, Jensen glances at his watch and finds out they've been at the party for almost an hour already and they haven't seen any of the others since they arrived.

"I'm going to go find Jared," he says.

Danneel snorts. "Of course," she says, voice teasing, and Genevieve smirks.

Jensen rolls his eyes and doesn't bother replying.

He weaves his way through people, craning his head around to try to find Jared. It shouldn't be too hard, considering Jared towers over pretty much everyone at their school, but it still takes Jensen almost five minutes until he spots him. Jared's leaning against the bed of a truck, a beer can in hand, and he's talking to Jake. He looks absolutely relaxed, laughing at something Jake is telling him, and when Jake reaches out and touches Jared's arm, Jensen feels a lump forming in his throat.

He turns away quickly, stumbling a little over his own feet.

Danneel and Genevieve are still where he left them.

"Hey, no luck finding Jared?" Genevieve asks.

"He, uh," Jensen says, and his voice cracks a little. "He was...talking to someone."

"Jensen?" Danneel places a hand on his arm, warm and gentle, and looks at him with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Jared was talking to Jake," Jensen admits and then shrugs casually. "I'm okay."

"Oh," Genevieve says and moves closer to him. She slides beneath Jensen's arm and Jensen tugs her close.

"They're probably just talking," Danneel says. "You know how Jared is. Hyperactive kid that tells his life story to anyone who doesn't get away fast enough."

"They looked pretty cozy," Jensen mumbles.

"Jared would have told us if he was interested in Jake. He tells us everything."

"Yeah, like the fact that he figured out he was gay," Jensen says, voice laced with sarcasm, and Genevieve sighs.

"That was different. He was still figuring it out and then he got drunk and Jake happened. He would have told us once he was really sure. We just caught him before he could."

"Yeah, well, he's drunk now, so what's stopping the Jake thing from happening again?"

"Jensen. You like him but you refuse to tell him. And I get it – you're close and it's scary and you don't wanna fuck things up," Danneel says. "But you can't expect him to be single forever."

"I don't," Jensen says. "I know he'll find someone. But it hurts, okay? It still hurts."

"Jen." Genevieve sighs. "Can we do anything to make things better? You want a drink? I can take over being the DD for you."

"I'm fine," Jensen shrugs.

"Okay, how about we find some place a little quieter?" Genevieve suggests, slipping her hand into Jensen's, and he gratefully lets her tug him away from the crowd.

+

"Jensen!" 

Jared half walks, half stumbles up to them, a big grin on his face. It startles the couple sitting a few feet away from Jensen and Danneel, who have been making out for the past fifteen minutes, and Jensen feels an odd sort of satisfaction.

Jared is flushed, red spots on his cheek, and his hair is a little disheveled. Jensen's seen this Jared enough times to know he's had a few beers too many.

"Hey," he says with a weak smile.

"Gen told me to come find you," Jared says, voice louder than necessary.

Danneel sighs. "I'll leave you two alone," she whispers to Jensen. She squeezes his arm and gets up, patting Jared as she passes him. "See you guys around."

Jared flops down beside Jensen with a thud. "So, Gen was being kinda secretive, but she told me to get my ass over here and cheer you up."

"I'm fine," Jensen replies automatically.

Jared squints at him. "Did something happen?"

"No."

"Jensen."

"I'm really fine. I just don't feel like partying," Jensen lies. "You having a good time?"

"No. Not if you're moping."

"I'm not moping. And you didn't even know about that until Gen told you just now." The traitor, Jensen silently adds.

"Stop being stupid," Jared mutters and rubs his fingertips over his cheek, scratching. "Something bit me."

"Let me see," Jensen says, tugging Jared's hand away, and rolls his eyes. "Looks like a mosquito bite. You'll live."

"Thanks, Dr. Ackles," Jared replies and shifts, resting his weight against Jensen's side. "Don't be mopey, Jen. Okay?"

"I'm not," Jensen says. He breathes a sigh of relief when Jared drops the topic after that, and silently plots the best way to kill Genevieve for meddling.

+

Jared doesn't mention Jake. Not the next day, not the next week. He hangs out with them at school and after their classes let out. It leaves no room for Jared to possibly meet up with Jake, and Jensen's jealousy slowly dissipates. 

Maybe Jared really was just being friendly and talking to Jake, he thinks. He's always been a pretty tactile guy, walking with his arm casually thrown around people, giving hugs left and right, using any of them to cuddle when they hang out.

By the end of the week, Jensen is feeling better about the whole thing, his mood lifting. 

And then Friday rolls around and Jensen's mood goes from okay to fantastic suddenly.

He's sitting in the cafeteria, poking around the lump of mac and cheese, and waiting for Jared to be distracted so he can steal a cookie. Danneel is whining about her desperate need to go shopping now that fall is starting and when Misha groans, she hits him and tells him just for that he's coming with her.

"I'm not going shopping with you," Misha protests, looking horrified.

"You need new stuff anyway. I've seen your wardrobe."

"What's wrong with my wardrobe?" Misha asks, and when Danneel just raises an eyebrow Misha turns to him and Jared. "What's wrong with my wardrobe, guys?"

"No idea," Jensen shrugs.

"You wouldn't. You still own a couple of t-shirts with superheroes yourself," Danneel says.

"Hey!" Jensen exclaims. Jared snorts and Jensen turns to glare at him. "Like you're one to talk. You still have action figures."

"Those are valuable."

"Keep telling yourself that," Jensen shoots back, and then hears his name being called.

He turns around to find Katie rushing up to their table, a grin on her face. "Jensen, Jeff just put the cast list up!"

Jensen's stomach twists. "And?" he asks.

Katie whoops. "I told you you'd get the lead," she says, and hugs him tightly, ending up half on Jensen's lap.

"No way," Jensen mutters. "No way."

"Congrats, Prospero," Katie says.

"And you?"

"I'm your lovely daughter herself; Miranda." She beams at him and then leans over the table to high five Danneel and Misha before sliding off Jensen's lap. She takes a seat on the empty chair next to Jensen, still smiling like a maniac.

Jensen feels a hand press against the small of his back and when he turns, Jared is smiling widely and starts to rubs his thumb up and down in small circles.

"Congratulations, Jen," he murmurs and Jensen suddenly feels like there's nothing at that moment that could probably go wrong in his life.

+

Monday, things do go wrong.

Jensen is in a rush to get books from his locker before his next class starts and he rushes down the hall, trying not to knock into anyone.

He's almost at his locker when someone jostles him and hisses, "Fag."

He looks up, startled, and finds himself face to face with Michael Haley. The guy has been a dick to him pretty much since Jensen moved to Oak River. It started when Michael's girlfriend flirted with Jensen on Jensen's second day at school, and Michael spent ten minutes spewing threats and insults at Jensen. When rumors about Jensen's sexuality spread around school their sophomore year, a few weeks after the whole mess with Danneel on her birthday and her publicly slapping him, Michael had started a second round of attacks. Until Jared punched him and got himself suspended for two days. Michael had left him alone after that, satisfied with glaring at Jensen from across the hallway.

Apparently, today is the start of the third round. Jensen wishes he could just brush it off, ignore the hateful slurs of some stupid jock he really couldn't care less about, but it still hurts.

"What the hell is your problem?" he mutters and shoulders past Michael.

"Guys like you. You fucking disgust me, Ackles, the way you flaunt yourself. You're sick," Michael says. "You and all the other fags on the planet."

Jensen breathes in deep and ignores Michael. 

He tells himself that one guy calling him a fag doesn't matter – and no matter how many of the other people in Oak River secretly agree, overall Jensen knows he's been lucky. He's been insulted for being a city boy far more often than for his sexuality. The fact that his friends stood by him when he came out and stood up for him before any bullying could even really start probably made a lot of people back off. By now, Jensen thought everyone had moved on, forgotten about the whole thing. But hearing Michael calling him a fag hurts just as much as it did the first time someone called him that, and Jensen feels his stomach lurch as he turns his back to everyone, fumbling with the combination of his locker.

+

Jensen doesn't tell anyone about the incident in the hallway and does his best to just brush it off.

Michael glares at him in school and the few times they run into each other in town. He looks at Jensen in disgust, and mutters things under his breath and Jensen just ignores him.

"Going to your drama club again, Ackles?" Michael sneers at him on Friday after class when he passes him and Katie in the hallway.

"What was that?" Katie asks, surprised.

Jensen shrugs. "He's just being a dick," he says.

"And what's his problem with you being in drama club?" she asks and Jensen gives her a disbelieving look.

"Really? It's drama, Katie," he says.

"Right. Epitome of homosexuality, or whatever," she says with a laugh. "What an idiot."

"Yeah well, I don't care."

"Good. You shouldn't," Katie tells him.

+

"Katie told us you had a run in with Haley?" Danneel asks, hopping up onto the counter next to where Genevieve is carefully measuring flour. 

"What?" Genevieve asks, looking at Jensen with surprise.

"It was nothing."

"It's never nothing with that dick," Jared mutters and Jensen hadn't even realized Jared had come in with Danneel. "You should have said something."

"Hi, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. How have you been this fine Saturday afternoon, Jared?" Jensen asks with false cheer and brings the knife down on the block of chocolate a little bit harder than necessary.

"What are you guys even doing here?" Danneel asks, looking back and forth between Jensen, Genevieve and Misha, who is beating eggs and sugar in a bowl. Jensen shrugs.

"We're making chocolate cake. Gen and I had cake cravings," Misha shrugs. 

"I love it when someone gets cake cravings," Danneel says happily.

"Can we get back to our earlier topic?" Jared asks. "Namely Michael Haley being a dick and Jensen not telling us he's being bullied."

"I'm not being bullied," Jensen groans. "So the guy made a few stupid comments. Who cares?"

"Comments? Plural?" Jared asks, and glares.

"Jared, drop it."

"I won't drop it. What the hell, Jensen? Why didn't you tell us?"

"And then what? Will you punch him again?" Jensen asks.

"What if I did?"

"I don't need you starting fights on my behalf, Jared!" Jensen exclaims, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Okay? I get it. You're tall and you like to work out and you think you have to protect everyone, but you're being stupid here. I can stand up for myself – in case you haven't noticed, I'm neither short nor weak myself."

"Well, I don't see you standing up for yourself, though," Jared shoots back and he sounds angry now, a flush rising to his cheeks.

"Guys," Danneel says calmly. "Stop fighting."

"Are you on his side?" Jared asks, surprised. "He's letting Haley walk all over him and you want us to just ignore it?"

"Sometimes ignoring stuff like that is the best thing you can do," Jensen argues.

"It's not. It's just gonna make him believe he can get away with being a homophobic asshole."

"You're blowing this out of proportion. The guy is an ass, but he's not even worth being upset over," Jensen replies. "He's going to get bored sooner or later."

"Is that how you're gonna live your life? Turn the other cheek when you're being bullied and wait for it to go away?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Why not?" Jared demands, crossing his arms.

"Because you wouldn't get it, Jared. You have no idea what it's like, because nobody at school even knows you're gay! And why is that by the way? It wouldn't happen to be because you're all talk but you don't even have the guts to be honest with people about yourself." Jensen all but yells the words and the second he's done, he feels his stomach twist.

Jared looks at him with an expression of hurt and surprise and it's absolutely quiet in the room, the other three frozen in place and staring at them. And then it's like Jared closes off, his mouth setting into a tight line and his jaw twitching.

"Fuck you, Jensen," he says, voice low and sharp. He turns on his heels, leaves without another word and moments later a car door slams shut outside.

"What happened?" Katie asks, startling Jensen and he can see the others flinch out of the stupor they were in as well. He turns to the doorway, finds Katie and Matt standing there with twin expressions of confusion and worry.

"I'm not quite sure," Danneel replies after a beat of silence. 

"Fuck," Jensen breathes out, curling his hands into fists. "Fuck."

His chest feels tight, like he can't breathe properly. It only gets worse as the minutes drag on and Jared doesn't return.


	3. Chapter 3

The issue with being a tight-knit group of friends such as they are is that when two of them fight, it affects everyone.

It happened when Danneel was pissed at Jensen after their very short-lived fling that ended with Jensen admitting he was gay and Danneel not talking to him. Or the one time Matt and Katie almost broke up and refused to be in the same room together for two weeks. It's like parents divorcing and the children having to pick who to live with – it's impossible to choose one side without hurting the other, but staying neutral just pisses off both parties. And dividing your time between two people always proves almost impossible. 

Jensen refuses to let that happen this time.

He stays at home for the rest of the weekend, mostly just moping around until his parents rope him into helping them in the garden, pulling out weeds. But eventually Monday rolls around and Jensen can't hide any longer.

Classes are incredibly awkward – especially since he has half of his classes with Jared. Jensen tries his best to pay attention to the teachers and avoids looking in Jared's direction altogether. Everyone is tiptoeing around him, giving him uncertain looks. At lunch, it's only Danneel, Katie, Misha and him, and Danneel mumbles something about Jared needing to research something for an essay in the library. Jensen knows its bullshit, but he doesn't say anything. 

He distracts himself with homework and assignments when he's not in school and by the end of the week he's miles ahead of most of his classes. 

Friday afternoon, Danneel calls while Jensen is playing Xbox, bored out of his mind.

"We're meeting at my place at eight. We're either going to the movies or going bowling – the votes are 50/50 so far," Danneel says. "So your choice is gonna decide."

"Is Jared coming?"

"Jensen," Danneel says, and then sighs. "Yes, he's gonna be there."

Jensen sits back on the couch, staring at the television screen where his game is on pause. "I'm gonna stay in tonight."

"Don't be stupid, Jen. You don't have to stay in just because Jared's going to be there."

"I kinda do," Jensen points out. "You know none of us would have fun if I came. It'd just be awkward and you guys would try to mediate, and that would probably just make things worse."

"You're not going to fix things if you guys just keep avoiding each other."

"Well, I don't think tonight would be a good opportunity to talk to him either – not while we're out with all of you."

"Then when are you guys gonna make up?"

"I don't know," Jensen sighs. "I could let him hit me and then beg for forgiveness. Worked for you."

"Jared was behaving just as ridiculously as you. Both of you need to get your act together and apologize," Danneel argues.

"What if that's not good enough?"

"You're being dramatic," Danneel says accusingly. "You're not as bad as Jared, but still."

Jensen perks up a little. "What's Jared saying?"

"I'm not telling you. I'm not telling him what we talk about either. Don't drag me into this," Danneel scolds. "But you're both miserable."

"We'll work it out," Jensen promises, but he knows he doesn't sound very convinced. 

"Okay," Danneel says. "So you're definitely not coming?"

"Nah, another time. Have fun though and tell the guys I said hi."

"Will do," she promises. "Let's do something tomorrow though. Just us, if that would make you feel better."

"I'll call you," Jensen says. "Bye, Dani."

"Bye Jensen," Danneel says and hangs up. Jensen sits on the couch for a while, and then switches the Xbox and TV off. The house is completely silent, both of his parents still at work.

Jensen can't remember the last time he felt this lonely and he knows it's his own damn fault.

+

Over the summer, when Jensen's parents had insisted on going to visit his grandparents on their ranch for a week, Jensen had started a project out of boredom. He'd taken the external hard drive where he stored all his videos and decided to make a sort of best-of-DVD of their little group, cutting together a film on his laptop. He'd given up halfway through, not finding enough time between helping out on the ranch and visiting other family members living in the area. There were a bunch of small clips on his laptop though and Jensen had burned all the ones of Jared onto a DVD one afternoon. They're not even edited properly; it's just one random clip after another. He keeps the DVD hidden away and has never told anyone it existed. 

Jensen feels pathetic enough that night to put the DVD in, watching two plus hours of Jared goofing around.

That's how his mother finds him, sitting in the middle of his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest and watching Jared ramble about which horror movie is the scariest ever and why.

Jensen has just enough time to wipe the tears off his cheeks and pause the DVD when his mom knocks on his door before she sticks her head in.

"Dinner's ready," she says and Jensen watches the smile fall off her face when she takes in the scene in front of her. "Jensen? What happened?"

"Nothing," Jensen croaks out. 

Donna pushes the door open and comes to sit on the edge of his bed, gently touching his arm. "Talk to me, honey. Are you okay?"

Jensen nods and rubs his eyes, smudging the wetness across his cheekbones. Then he shakes his head.

"Oh, Jensen," she murmurs and pulls him into a hug. Jensen melts into it – whether he's five or seventeen or thirty, Jensen doesn't think anything is ever going to be as comforting as his mother hugging him and stroking his back. "You wanna talk about what happened?"

"Jared and I had a fight."

"Is that why you've been home so much?" she asks softly. Jensen nods against her shoulder.

"We haven't talked to each other in a week," he admits. 

"You two will fix things," she promises, sounding so sure. She pulls away and looks at Jensen and then wipes tears away from his face.

"I said some pretty nasty things."

"It happens. Your dad and I have said some pretty awful things to each other when we were mad at each other. It happens, but it doesn't mean you don't love the other person."

"Jared doesn't."

"Of course he loves you," his mom protests.

Jensen presses his lips together, feels new tears well up in his eyes. "But not..."

"Not what?"

"Not like that," Jensen whispers and sniffles. 

If the situation wasn't absolutely miserable, Jensen thinks the look on his mother's face would actually be hilarious. As it is, Jensen just lets his mother pull him close again and holds on, choking out soft sobs.

+

"This is an intervention," Genevieve declares, bursting into Jensen's room.

Jensen looks up from the book he's reading. "What?"

"You didn't even come to our Saturday breakfast this morning, Jensen, so I'm staging an intervention. You and Jared are being idiots and you're both miserable. Worst of all, you're making everyone else miserable," she says.

"So they sent you here to talk to me?"

"No, nobody knows I'm doing this. In fact, Danneel and I were outvoted last night and it was decided you two needed to work this out on your own. I think that's stupid, so here I am," she says, flopping down onto his bed.

"What are you planning to do? Kick my ass?" Jensen asks, amusement coloring his voice.

"You might be acting like a twelve-year-old girl right now, Jensen, but I would never be stupid enough to try doing that. The only one who could take you on is Jared and we both know it," she says, then sighs. "Speaking of Jared though. You two need to talk. And one of you has to take the first step."

"And you think it should be me?"

Genevieve deflates visibly. "I think you really hurt Jared with what you said," she admits. "I'm not blaming you and I'm not taking sides. But, Jen, one of you has to be the bigger man in this and you two are just making it worse because you're both being stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn," Jensen argues. "I want to make up with him."

"Well, what's stopping you?"

"I'm not sure if Jared's ready to forgive me," he says. 

"I'm pretty sure he is," Genevieve replies. "I talked to him earlier. You know how much he cares for you – he'd never be able to stay mad at you and he knows he wasn't being fair to you either."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Genevieve nods, looking hopeful. "Did anyone tell you about last night yet? Michael was at the bowling alley as well."

"Uh oh," Jensen mutters.

"It wasn't that bad. Jared just got in his face and told him if he ever so much as looked at you again he'd have hell to pay. You should have seen the way he towered over Michael – it was kinda funny, actually."

"At least he didn't throw any punches this time," Jensen says, then frowns. "He didn't, right?"

"No. He behaved."

"I just don't get why he thinks he needs to protect me. I can fight Michael myself, if I have to – I just don't think the guy is worth getting in trouble for."

Genevieve sighs. "You know Jared. He can't stand seeing any of us getting hurt. And he knows you can handle yourself – he's not stupid. It's just...I think he gets a little irrational when it comes to you. He's crazy about you."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "Right."

"Look, Jensen, I can't make any promises. Jared's never said anything, but the way he looks at you, the way he acts with you – I'm pretty sure what you're feeling is reciprocated."

"Gen." Jensen sighs. "Don't. Don't do this to me, speculating about what Jared might or might not feel."

"Okay. Sorry. It's just my opinion, Jensen, and I think maybe you should think about it," she says. "But hey, for now, how about you think about talking to Jay and fixing this? Cause if you guys don't make up soon, you'll drive all of us crazy."

"I'm sorry. I know all of you are kinda stuck in the middle of this whole mess."

"It's okay. It's not nearly as bad as it was with Matt and Katie."

Jensen winces. "Yeah, that was pretty bad," he agrees, then gives Genevieve an encouraging smile. "I'll see if I can find a way to talk to Jared, okay?"

+

Jensen stays true to his word. He makes it through dinner with his parents and then asks them if he can leave, promising he won't be out too late.

He takes the long route to the Padalecki's, trying to come up with something to say to Jared. 

He's halfway up the Padalecki's driveway when he changes his mind on a whim and cuts across the front lawn instead. He walks around the house to the big tree that's next to the shed right underneath Jared's window. He's climbed the tree up and down a hundred times, usually when one of them was grounded and he was sneaking in to see Jared anyway, and Jared's parents have threatened to move Jared to another room more than once.

It's been a while since he's done this though and it takes him a couple of minutes to make it up the tree and onto the shed safely, his feet hitting the ground with a heavy thud. He pushes himself up the ledge of Jared's window and peers into Jared's room. Jared is staring right back at him with wide eyes, sitting on his bed.

Jensen waves him over.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jared asks when the window is open, but he steps aside to let Jensen in.

"I thought we should talk," Jensen answers with a small shrug.

"You could have used the front door to come in."

"I thought if I popped up at your window, you'd have to let me in," Jensen admits and he smiles weakly at Jared. "Right?"

"Idiot," Jared mutters. "I would have let you in through the front door too."

He closes the distance between them with one big step and hugs Jensen. It takes Jensen a second to catch on and then he winds his own arms around Jared's middle and hugs him back tightly. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, burying his face in the crook of Jared's neck.

"Me too," Jared replies, eventually stepping back. "And for the record, I was being a dick. I know you can stand up for yourself, Jensen, and I get why you chose to ignore Michael. It's probably even the smarter thing to do. It's just – he makes me so mad."

"I know. But Jay, you're like the least aggressive person I know. You're the epitome of optimism and friendliness, man. You didn't even punch Derek when he cheated on Genevieve and god knows I wanted to."

Jared snorts. 

"Genevieve's wrath is punishment enough," he says. He takes a few steps back to sit on his bed, patting the space next to him and Jensen goes to sit down with him. "It's different when someone says all that homophobic bullshit though. That just gets to me."

"It gets to me too," Jensen admits. "Doesn't mean I can't ignore it if it's for the better. It's just one guy being a dick."

"I guess – I guess maybe it's because that's exactly why I'm scared to come out to anyone but you guys and my family. I'm scared that people will call me a fag and hate me," Jared says, looking down at his fingers. He's pulling at a loose string of his bedspread nervously.

Jensen covers Jared's hand with his. "Then don't," he says. "If you're not ready for it, don't come out. Wait until college or whenever it feels right to you."

"Yeah? That's not what you said the other day."

"I was being an asshole and I was pissed at you. I didn't mean it," Jensen says with a wince. "We're in high school, for crying out loud. I don't think a lot of guys would dare to come out in high school."

"You did."

"And I lucked out," Jensen admits. "But if you're not comfortable with coming out yet, then take your time until it feels right. I was an idiot to ever imply otherwise."

"Promise? I don't want you to secretly be mad at me because I'm in the closet while you have to live with all the crap some people give you."

"It was my decision to come out. This is your decision," Jensen says, shaking his head. "I'd never be mad at you for that."

"Good," Jared says and wraps his arms around Jensen's waist, tugging him close in a loose hug and resting his head on Jensen's shoulder. "So we're good again?"

"Absolutely," Jensen agrees. He cards his fingers through Jared's hair and closes his eyes, resting his head on top of Jared's.

+

They're all in Danneel's basement, like most Friday nights. Staring at the stack of DVDs – also like most Friday nights. Jensen's pretty sure he's watched more movies in the past three years than in the fourteen years before combined. There are not that many other things to do in Oak River, especially if you're under twenty-one and can't even go out.

"Okay, Danneel's pre-selection tonight includes," Katie says, picking up the first DVD. " _Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Rings_. Second, a classic but goody, _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. Or, one of my personal favorites, _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_. Fourth on the list is, uh, _Titanic_. Really Danneel?"

"One day we'll actually choose that movie. You just wait and see," Danneel declares.

Jared chuckles, the sound so close to Jensen's ear that he can feel warm puffs of air against his skin. They're sitting on one of the two couches in the room and Jared has him pulled so close Jensen is almost sprawled across his chest. His arm is around Jensen and his chin tucked over Jensen's shoulder. It's been five days since they made up, and Jared has been like that the whole time, showering Jensen with affection and Jensen happily reciprocating. Danneel calls it their honeymoon phase.

"I veto _Titanic_ ," Genevieve chimes up. 

"Good, me too," Katie adds. "Final choice is _Jaws_."

The second Katie is done, everyone starts talking at once, until Katie claps her hands together loudly.

"Quiet please," she calls out, trying to look serious. "We'll vote. Everyone who wants to watch _Titanic_ , raise your hand."

Danneel raises her hand and then huffs when no one else does.

" _Jaws_?" 

Katie and Misha raise their hands and Katie looks at Matt expectantly who just shakes his head.

"Why am I dating you?" she asks, and then sighs. "Okay, _Lord of the Rings_."

Jared and Jensen raise their hands simultaneously, but no one else does. "Oh, come on," Jared mumbles.

" _Breakfast at Tiffany's_." Katie looks around and sets the movie aside when no one makes a move. "Okay, that one is out. I assume you two are voting for _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_?"

"Yeah," Genevieve replies, and Matt nods.

"Great. Since _Titanic_ only got Danneel's vote, that one is out too. So as long as nobody's gonna change their mind, Danneel – it's up to you now," Katie says.

" _Lord of the Rings_ , Danneel. Come on," Jensen says, giving her a pleading look.

"Stop trying to influence her," Genevieve calls, throwing a pillow at them that hits Jensen square in the face. 

"Stop throwing pillows at Jensen," Jared replies in the same tone Genevieve had used. Jensen nods.

"Yeah, stop throwing pillows at me. That's mean," he agrees. "You know how Jared gets when people are mean to me."

"Feral," Jared adds, baring his teeth and doing his best impression of a growl. Jensen laughs and Jared grins at him and tugs him closer.

"Oh, would you two just start making out already. All this flirting is making me dizzy," Matt complains. "Really. Get a room."

Jensen tenses, and he can feel Jared's own body go stiff against his.

"Matt," Katie hisses, hitting Matt over the head. 

"What?" Matt asks. "Come on, they're obviously both into each other."

"They're still hiding their feelings from each other, though," Misha says with a shrug. "Or maybe they're still in denial. I'm never quite sure which one it is."

Jensen struggles to pull away from Jared and tries to sit up straight, panic bubbling up inside him.

"You two are horrible," Danneel groans, and shakes her head at Misha and Matt. "Leave the boys alone."

"Jensen," Jared murmurs, and wraps his fingers around Jensen's wrist and Jensen's chest feels tight, like he can't breathe. "Come on, we're going upstairs for a moment."

Jared gets up, not letting go of Jensen's arm, and Jensen has no choice but to follow. 

"We'll be back," Jensen says, and sends one last pleading look over his shoulder at Danneel. Danneel gives him two thumbs up, and Jensen feels a flare of hope.

He follows Jared up the stairs and then up to Danneel's room. Jared closes the door behind them firmly.

"I don't think this is a conversation Danneel's family needs to hear," he says, looking a little embarrassed. He scratches the back of his neck. "Right?"

"Probably not," Jensen agrees.

"So, what Misha said. Do you – was he –" Jared gives him a sheepish look, stumbling over his words.

"Yes," Jensen admits, holding his breath as he waits for Jared to react. 

"Really?" Jared asks after a short moment of hesitation, and he sounds more hopeful than upset.

Jensen steps closer, close enough that there's barely an inch between them and he can cup Jared's face in his hands. "Please tell me I can –"

"Yeah. Kiss me," Jared murmurs, already ducking down, and Jensen surges up. 

It's a little clumsy at first, teeth knocking together and Jensen's not used to having to tilt his head up to kiss someone, doesn't know quite what to do. But it's _Jared_ ; it's months of frustration and longing and hoping, all rolled up in one kiss and Jensen thinks it's the most perfect thing he's ever experienced.

Jared tugs him a little closer still, hands splayed over the small of Jensen's back, and changes the angle a little so their lips move together easier. And then Jensen feels Jared's tongue, teasing at first, before Jared slips it in past Jensen's parted lips. It's wet and hot, tongues sliding together slowly. Jensen's only ever done this with Danneel, but this is absolutely, completely different and it makes him feel dizzy, his heart hammering in his chest.

He pulls away after what feels like forever, drawing back with a few small kisses and a broken whimper. 

"Jared," he murmurs, staring up at Jared. He wonders if he looks like Jared, a little dazed and a stupid grin on his face. He swipes his thumb over Jared's cheek, feels the hot, smooth skin under his finger.

"So, uh," he starts and trails off.

Jared's grin widens. "Pretty good for our first kiss," he says, voice teasing.

"Yeah," Jensen agrees, eyes not leaving Jared's. "We should do it again sometime."

Jared laughs and dips down to kiss Jensen again. 

"The others are probably waiting for us," Jensen protests, but he's already leaning in.

"They can wait ten more minutes," Jared murmurs, and brings their lips back together.

+

"Danneel went with _Chocolate Factory_ ," Genevieve says casually, giving them an assessing look.

"Traitor," Jensen says to Danneel, who grins.

"Do you care?" she asks, gaze falling to where Jared is holding Jensen's hand. "Cause I think right now you really don't."

"So I don't have to apologize?" Matt asks, and ducks when Katie's hand shoots out to hit him again.

"Nah, we're good," Jared says.

"Perfect," Jensen agrees, and they share a grin that makes Jensen's stomach flutter. 

"You're going to be even more insufferable from now on than you were before, huh?" Danneel asks, but the smile on her face belies her words.

Jared sits back down on the couch and pulls Jensen with him. "We'll try to behave," Jared promises.

"Nah, you guys go ahead," Danneel says with a wink.

"Yeah, feel free to make out," Genevieve chimes in, and Danneel highfives her.

"You two are the insufferable ones," Jensen says with a groan. "And there'll be no making out in front of you."

"Definitely not," Jared agrees. 

But when the movie starts and everyone's attention turns to the TV, Jared ducks down and kisses Jensen, sweet and soft, and Jensen tilts his head up and lets him.

+

The first day back in school after that weekend is weird. They meet up outside the building like every morning, and by the time Jensen arrives everyone else is already there. 

Jensen feels nervous, clutching the strap of his backpack, his mind running through ideas on how to greet Jared. Hug him? Just say hi? Kissing is most definitely out – things might have changed between them, but that doesn't mean Jared is ready to come out to everyone else in town, and Jensen's not sure where that leaves them.

"Hi," he greets everyone, waving a little. His eyes meet Jared's and he feels a little calmer when Jared looks at him happily.

"Hi," Jared murmurs in reply, sliding one arm around Jensen's shoulders. It's nothing new, but it feels different to Jensen now and he leans into the touch, smiling up at Jared.

"Okay," Danneel says loudly. "Let's get moving before we're all late for class."

"Yeah, hate to break you two up, but Jared, we have Bio and I really don't want Bing to hate us anymore than he already does. Come on," Misha says, elbowing Jared.

"I'll see you in PE?" Jared says.

Jensen nods. 

"As always," Danneel chimes in, a little impatient, and Jensen gives her a dirty look.

Jensen feels a giddy rush every time he sees Jared that day. In PE, they play basketball and Jared keeps brushing up against Jensen and Jensen can barely concentrate, glancing at Jared every few seconds and at lunch they sit close enough that they're legs are pressed together. English and Calculus with Jared aren't any better, both of them sneaking glances at each other, and halfway through Calc Jared slides a piece of folded paper onto his desk.

' _Wanna hang out after class? Just you and me,_ ' it says.

Jensen meets Jared's eyes and nods happily. 

Nobody but their friends may know what's going on between them, but Jensen thinks he can live with it if this is how things are going to be between them.

+

"You want to go out?" Jared asks that afternoon, and Jensen looks up from his homework. Jared's looking at him, biting down on his pen, and his own homework lies forgotten. He's sprawled out on his stomach, long legs stretching all the way to the end of the bed.

"Sure," Jensen replies with a shrug.

Jared breathes out a sigh. "Okay, cool. I was thinking dinner and a movie."

"Oh," Jensen says as it dawns on him what Jared is really talking about. "You meant, go out on a date."

"Well, yeah," Jared says and frowns. "It's what couples do, right? Unless you don't want to."

Jensen's lips twitch into a smile and he leans down, pressing a quick kiss to Jared's lips. "Of course I want to."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And dinner and a movie sounds good."

"I figured maybe we could go somewhere else? Not here in Oak River," Jared suggests. "Somewhere where not everyone knows us."

Jensen smiles down at him. "I'd like that," he agrees.

+

Jensen's never really been on a date before. He went with Maryl Sanders to a dance once, but by the end of the night she was back together with her boyfriend and Jensen was hanging out with Jared and Danneel, so he figures it doesn't really count.

He's not really sure what being on a date entails, but he figures it's him and Jared so they'll just play it by ear. He puts on a nice shirt and an old pair of jeans and heavy boots and smiles widely when Jared comes to get him, dressed similarly.

"You look good," Jared says when they're in his truck, and it doesn't sound like he's just saying it.

"You too," Jensen replies, and they grin at each other. 

Jared drives them to a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant a few towns over and they chat comfortably the whole way over. Jared turns on Jensen's favorite radio station without having to be asked, and at the restaurant they split a big plate of nachos with cheese, sour cream and salsa, and an order of fries and wings between them. There's none of the first-date awkwardness that Danneel and Genevieve always complain about when they go out with someone and Jensen feels happy and giddy the whole evening.

They watch a cheap horror flick Jensen's never heard of before and Jared holds his hand in the darkness of the movie theater. 

Back in Oak River, Jared walks him to his door, stopping on the porch.

"You wanna come in?" Jensen asks. "Watch another movie or something?"

"I told my mom I wouldn't be out too late," Jared says, grimacing. "My grandparents are coming over tomorrow and I had to promise my mom I'd get up early and mow the lawn before they get here."

"Okay." Jensen shrugs, and hopes the disappointment doesn't show on his face.

"You should come over tomorrow and have dinner with us though. Momma's making fried chicken and I'm pretty sure grandma's gonna bring some pie for dessert," Jared says, giving him a pleading look. "And you know my grandpa loves you. He probably likes you better than me."

"Because I talk about fishing with him."

"Well, excuse me for not enjoying killing helpless animals."

"Yet, you eat them with gusto."

"On second thought," Jared says, "it's okay if you can't make it."

Jensen laughs. "I'll be there."

"Good," Jared nods. He shuffles a little closer. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Jensen nods. "Definitely," he says. "And thanks for tonight. It was great."

"Anytime," Jared says with a smile. "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

"You sure? Someone might see us," Jensen says, but moves in closer. 

Jared shrugs. "Let them," he says and leans down, kissing Jensen.

+

October fades into November, and Jensen finds himself falling for Jared more and more with each day. Sometimes, when he goes to school in the morning, he expects to see Jared and find that the happy, fluttering feeling in his stomach has faded a little, but it doesn't happen. He feels a thrill go through him every time Jared kisses him, feels unbelievably happy just being near him. It's pretty much the best feeling in the world.

They hang out a little less with everyone else, but their friends don't seem to mind much. Danneel smiles knowingly every time they beg out of movie night or hanging out at the diner after school. Genevieve and Misha prefer to tease them endlessly, making sly comments. It's Katie who occasionally tells them to show their faces, but she says it with an easy smile, and Jensen knows if anyone gets it it's her and Matt. Jensen is glad none of their friends are upset that he and Jared try to spend as much time alone as possible.

They've been on a few more dates, but mostly they hang out at his or Jared's place, locking themselves up in their rooms together. They watch movies curled around each other, play video games, run lines together for Jensen's play, do their homework side by side. It's not much different from before, only that now they take breaks to make out lazily and Jared's hand always finds its way onto Jensen's thigh and Jensen likes to nap with his head resting on Jared's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

+

"Jared," Jensen says, tone warning, when one of his books falls to the ground with a loud thud.

Jared laughs, lips pressed against Jensen's jaw and his tongue sneaks out to lick at Jensen's skin. It makes Jensen squirm, and Jared makes an appreciative noise, angling his head to crash their lips back together again. He's sprawled out on top of Jensen, heavy and hot, and his kisses are sticky sweet, tasting of the gummy worms Jared's been eating all afternoon. Jensen kisses him back eagerly, swiping his tongue across Jared's lips and licking the taste off.

His homework is long forgotten, and when they shift there’s a fluttering noise of what Jensen suspects is his notebook falling off the bed, followed by another thud. He wants to complain about it, tell Jared to be more careful, but then Jared slides his hand to Jensen’s thigh, hitching it up, and it makes Jared’s body slide between Jensen’s legs.

"Fuck, Jensen," Jared gasps, cupping Jensen’s face between his hands and looking down at him with heavy eyes. His lips are red, swollen from kissing and Jensen surges up, crashing their lips back together.

Jared doesn’t seem to mind much, kissing Jensen back. It feels incredible to have Jared so close, body warm and perfect, and Jensen can’t get enough of kissing Jared.

It’s when Jared’s hand wanders, fingers sliding beneath Jensen’s shirt and over skin and Jensen feels his whole body react to the touch, that Jensen freezes and pulls away.

They haven’t talked about sex, and Jensen feels a little overwhelmed suddenly. He’s thought about sex, but it’s only been a few weeks and Jensen had just assumed they’d wait. Take things slow and not rush head-first into this.

Jensen pushes at Jared until Jared rolls off him, lying down by his side instead, and Jensen wipes the back of his hand over his lips with a nervous chuckle.

Jared kisses the side of his head, stroking one hand down Jensen’s back. "You okay?" he asks.

Jensen hesitates, and then brushes strands of sweaty hair out of Jared’s face. "Sure."

"Really? You seem kinda tense all of a sudden," Jared presses, a frown on his face. "Did I do anything you didn’t like?"

"No. Everything’s fine," Jensen says and breathes in deeply, feeling himself calm down, and he gives Jared his best reassuring smile. "It’s just… we have homework to do. And I promised to go over your Spanish homework too."

"Okay." Jared still doesn’t look happy, but he accepts the small kiss Jensen places on his lips, and doesn’t push.

+

"Hey," Danneel says, looking up from her sandwich that she's been picking apart carefully. She leans over the table, looking at Jared and lowering her voice, "I've been thinking – do you think it's weird that you're dating my ex-boyfriend now?"

Genevieve snorts loudly, almost choking on her milkshake and Misha pats her on the back helpfully.

"You were together for, like, two seconds," Jared says, rolling his eyes.

"Still," Danneel says.

"We hooked up, Dani. Once," Jensen says, looking around the diner and breathing a sigh of relief when he finds no one is looking their way. "And we didn't even do much."

"Because you had your gay epiphany," Danneel says and rolls her eyes. "It still counts."

"Either way, it's not weird," Jared says. "It was ages ago and you were never together."

"I'm just thinking we're kinda incestuous," Danneel says with a frown. "Matt and Katie are together, now you two are together. Jensen and I had a thing. Jared and Katie were together."

"In kindergarten," Jared and Katie say at the same time, and Jensen smirks.

"Really?" he asks.

"Kindergarten," Jared repeats. "She shared her cookies with me and then we built a kick-ass sandcastle together and told everyone we'd get married. She broke up with me a week later because I wouldn't share my mom's apple pie with her. She didn't get that you don't come between me and apple pie."

Jensen nods gravely. "That's harsh, man."

"It was very tragic," Katie agrees.

"Anyway, back to what I was saying. Jared and Katie shared a meaningful week in kindergarten. Misha and Genevieve hooked up last year."

Genevieve chokes on her milkshake for a second time, but this time Misha doesn't move to help her, too busy gaping at Danneel.

"You what?" Matt asks. "Is this just me being a clueless idiot again? Why did nobody inform me of this? What the hell, guys?"

"Or me?" Katie requires and looks over at Jensen and Jared, and Jensen quickly shakes his head and Jared's looking just as clueless as him.

"You promised you'd never tell anyone!" Genevieve exclaims, looking a little red and still gasping for air.

"Oops," Danneel mumbles.

"Danneel."

"It was ages ago," Danneel defends herself, raising her hands. "I figured it didn't matter anymore."

Genevieve glares. "Danneel had a thing with Jared's brother this summer," she says and then flinches. "Ow, don't kick me."

"What?" Jared squeaks. "You and _Jeff_?"

"I hate you, Gen. Seriously, that's completely different and I loathe you."

"I'm not sure I see how that's different," Misha says, and Danneel glares at him.

"I wasn't just blabbing out secrets," Danneel counters.

"I wasn't either," Genevieve says. "I figured I was just supporting your incest theory, Jeff being Jared's brother and all."

"Guys," Jared says. "Can you please stop arguing about this? There are more important issues. Like the fact that there was something going on between Danneel and my brother and I really want to know when and how and most of all, _why_."

"Your brother's pretty hot." Danneel waves him off.

"He's my brother," Jared replies, and grimaces. "That's disgusting. You and my brother. I'll have nightmares."

Jensen chuckles, leaning against Jared's side. "It's not that bad. Come on, it probably wasn't anything serious. Right, Danneel?"

"It wasn't," Danneel agrees, and then shrugs. "He has a girlfriend back at college."

"Oh my god!" Jared exclaims. "He has a girlfriend and he still let something happen between you and him? I'll kill him. Seriously, next time I see him, I'll punch him in the face and rip him apart."

"Jay, I knew about the girlfriend," Danneel says softly. "Don't be mad at him. I swear I didn't have feelings for him and we just fooled around, no harm done."

"That's still pretty shitty of him," Jensen says, giving her a look. "And really unfair to his girlfriend."

"I know," Danneel says, and flushes. "Can we not talk about it anymore?"

"Sorry," Genevieve mumbles, and Jared grunts.

"Fine, moving on," he agrees.

"So," Katie says cheerfully, breaking the tension. "What are we doing this weekend?"

"We haven't been roller skating in a really long time," Matt adds helpfully.

"Jay and I are going to a concert in Barnesville on Friday," Jensen says with a shrug, looking apologetic. "But we're free on Saturday."

"Oh, _you_ are, huh?" Danneel asks with a smirk, and Jensen flushes.

"Leave my boyfriend alone," Jared says. Danneel laughs.

"Oh come on, you know I think it's cute how you two have suddenly become attached at the hip. I'm happy for you guys," she says. "So, anyway, I assume you were implying that you don't want anyone else to come along to the concert?"

"It's a country singer, you wouldn't really like it anyway," Jared says with a shrug.

"Aww, it's okay. You want some alone time," Danneel replies. "We get it. So, what's the rest of us lovely ladies and gentlemen doing on Friday night then?"

Jensen sips his milkshake and steals a piece of Jared's muffin as he listens to the others throwing ideas around.

"I'll be right back," Jared says, pushing his chair back and resting his hand on Jensen's back for a split second. "Gotta piss."

"Thanks for letting us know, Jared, really," Genevieve says, rolling her eyes and waving him off.

Danneel nudges Jensen when Jared is gone, leaning over. "You two are happy, huh?" she asks, giving him a wink.

Jensen nods and grins. "Yeah, we are. It's pretty awesome."

Danneel smiles widely, dimples showing. "You're cute together," she says and then waggles her eyebrows. "And I bet Jared's pretty awesome in bed, huh?"

"What?" Jensen chokes out. He glances around but the others are still talking among themselves and there's no sign of Jared yet. "Danneel."

"What?" Danneel asks innocently. "I'm your best friend. I'm allowed to ask. It's actually my duty, to make sure my best friend is happy with his boyfriend."

"I am happy. The rest is none of your business," Jensen mumbles.

"Oh god, is it not good?" she hisses, eyes wide.

"Dani."

"Come on, tell me. Please? Just say yes or no."

Jensen bites his lower lip and shrugs. "I wouldn't know."

Danneel is silent for a moment, staring at him. "You haven't slept with him yet?" she asks and the others quiet down.

"What?" Genevieve asks. 

"They haven't had sex yet," Danneel explains, and Jensen kicks her under the table.

"Shut up. Jesus, share it with the whole town, why don't you?" He looks around again and then glares at Danneel. "And I swear if any of you say a single thing to Jared about this, I will kill you."

"Okay. Calm down," Danneel mutters.

Jensen sits tensely, waiting for Jared to return, and he only relaxes when Jared sits back down next to him and nobody says anything to him.

+

"Can we talk about the sex thing again?" Danneel asks casually, picking up a t-shirt and looking at it critically before putting it back down.

"No," Jensen says, and follows Danneel to the next rack, watching her sift through skirts. He's not sure why he's the one who got roped into going shopping with Danneel, but she had pleaded and begged and then told him they barely spent time together anymore and Jensen had yielded quickly.

"Why not?" she asks, looking over her shoulder. "What's wrong with it? So, you two haven't done it yet. It's okay to wait, if that's what you want."

"Because I don't know," Jensen mutters.

"Don't know what?"

"If that's what Jared wants."

"Oh," Danneel says, turning around. "You haven't talked about it?"

Jensen shakes his head.

"Why not? Jensen, you should talk about stuff like that in a relationship."

"I don't really know how to bring it up. And what would I say anyway? It would be different if I wanted to have sex with him, but how do I tell him I _don't_?" he asks. "He's gonna think I'm some prude."

"You're seventeen and he's your first boyfriend. Same goes for him. Do you know how many people our age are still virgins? Especially in this town," she says. "I mean, I haven't had sex yet. You think that makes me a prude?"

"No," Jensen sighs. "I just...what if Jared really wants to have sex? I do want him, you know, I just think we should wait a little."

"He's not gonna care. It's Jared," Danneel says. "He's our best friend, not some random guy. And he's the nicest person I know."

"I know. But –"

"But what? Has he said anything? Is he pushing you?"

"No," Jensen quickly says, shaking his head. "He wouldn't. I just feel like I'm being an idiot about this. I'm a seventeen year old boy with my first boyfriend, as you just pointed out. I should be all for it, right? I just...I want to enjoy this. I want to go on dates and make-out and take things slow with him."

Danneel hooks her arm with Jensen's and rests her head on his shoulder for a moment. "I think you have every right to want that. Actually, I think that's way better than rushing into it, and knowing Jared, he'll agree. The boy is a hopeless romantic and you know it."

"Maybe," Jensen agrees. He turns his head to press a kiss to her forehead. "Thanks, Dani."

"That's what best friends are for," she replies, and pulls back. "Now, I think I'm not the only one who needs a new wardrobe."

+

Jensen hears the doorbell chime but he knows his mother is home, so he doesn't bother getting up from his bed. He's reading _The Catcher in the Rye_ for his English class, taking notes as he goes, and he jumps in surprise when his door opens and Jared bursts in.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming over," Jensen says, putting his pen between the pages before closing the book. He sits, crossing his legs, and Jared flops down onto the bed next to him.

"Surprise," he says, but his voice falls flat.

"You okay?"

"Danneel ambushed me, and I just had the most embarrassing conversation of my life with her, but she insisted that I had to talk to you."

Jensen's stomach drops, but he tries to act casual. "Uh, yeah? About what?"

"Well, Dani apparently felt the need to talk to me about sex," Jared says, and gives Jensen a pointed look. "And how everyone was different and that relationships shouldn't be about sex and it was okay to wait. Wanna tell me why she thought I should know these things?"

Jensen rubs the back of his neck, not meeting Jared's eyes. "Uh, well, we...talked. Sex came up. Or, you know, how we're not, uh, having sex yet."

"And?"

Jensen breathes out through his nose, twisting his fingers together.

"Jensen." Jared ducks his head down, angling his face so Jensen has no choice but to look at him. "Come on, do I have to guess? Because I think I get what she was trying to say, but I might be wrong. And some of the other possibilities I came up with are far less pleasant."

"Like what?" Jensen mumbles.

"Like, that I've been pressuring you? I don't think I have, because I certainly wouldn't do that, but if you feel that way anyway, I need to know."

Jensen shakes his head. "That's not it," he says. "I just don't think I'm ready."

"Okay. That's okay."

"Yeah?" Jensen asks. "I mean, it's not that I'm not ready for sex in general. Of course I want to have sex. But just, I don't think I want to sleep with you yet, you know?"

Jared furrows his brow, scooting back a little. "Uh, so I'm the problem?"

"No, no! That came out wrong," Jensen says hastily. "I meant to say, generally I wanna have sex. But...I don't want us to rush into this. I want us to take our time. When it happens, it happens, but I just want the timing to feel right."

Jared lets out a relieved sigh, lips stretching into a soft smile. "Okay, I get that. And, for the record, I totally agree. It's only been a few weeks."

"So, we're taking it slow."

"We're taking it slow," Jared agrees. He leans in to kiss Jensen. "Never sic Danneel on me again."

"I didn't sic her on you."

"Sure felt like it," Jared replies, and cups Jensen's face. "So, hey, what we did the other day? Was that too soon?"

Jensen grins and shakes his head. "That was perfect," he says, and scoots closer, throwing his leg over Jared's and sliding into his lap.

Jared laughs, wrapping his arms around Jensen's waist and tugging him close. 

"You're perfect," he replies, and pulls Jensen into a kiss.

+

Jared has one hand on Jensen's ass and the other one is cupping Jensen's cheek, lips locked together, and Jensen feels a little dizzy and breathless and he can't get enough. The kitchen counter is digging into his back, but he stopped caring minutes ago, when Jared slid his tongue into Jensen's mouth and proceeded to kiss him breathless.

That's when Jensen's mother walks in on them.

Jensen jerks back when he hears the startled gasp and makes a pained noise when Jared accidentally bites down on his lip.

"Ow, shit," he hisses and stares past Jared's shoulder at his mother, standing in the doorway. "Oh shit, mom."

"Well, hi. This is a surprise," Donna says, sounding more amused than anything.

"Hi, Mrs. Ackles," Jared mumbles, and they try to untangle themselves quickly, Jared taking a few hasty steps back from Jensen.

"I didn't think you'd be home for a while," Jensen says, and he can feel the heat in his cheeks.

"I didn't think I'd walk in on my son making out with someone in my kitchen," she replies, and smirks at them. "Guess we were both in for a surprise here, huh?"

"It's not. Uh, we." Jared runs a hand through his hair and chuckles nervously. "It wasn't as bad as it looked."

"No?"

"We were just kissing," Jensen quickly says. "I swear."

"And since when have you two been 'just kissing'?" she asks, making quotes with her fingers.

Jared flushes, looking helplessly at Jensen.

"It's a pretty new thing," Jensen says, looking down. "Sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Any reason for that?" Donna asks, stepping further into the room and setting the grocery bags down on the counter.

Jensen shakes his head. "Just...it's all still new for us, too. I was gonna tell you."

"So, you're together now? My son has a boyfriend?"

Jensen nods weakly.

Donna smiles. "Well, well," she says. "At least you have good taste and picked someone we approve of."

Jensen looks at her. "Thanks, mom," he says, and Donna laughs. She closes the distance between them and ruffles his hair.

"Now, Jared," she says, turning to look at him. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"I'd love to," Jared says and his mother nods, obviously happy with the answer.

"Good. Now, out of my kitchen, you two. And leave the door to your room open, Jensen," she says.

"Mom."

"Don't mom me. Until we've talked about this and decided on some ground rules, the door stays open and you two behave."

"Yes, mom," Jensen agrees and she pats his cheek when he passes her. Jared quickly follows him out of the kitchen and up to his room, collapsing on the bed.

"Wow, that was embarrassing," he says, throwing his arm over his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I should have known better than to make out with you in the kitchen, Jay."

Jared moves his arm away and blinks up at him, frowning. "Hey, takes two. And at least she was cool about it," he says with a shrug. "But maybe we should tell my parents soon, before something like that can happen again. I'm sure they'll appreciate hearing about it from us instead of walking in on us, too."

"You wanna tell your parents?" Jensen asks, lying down next to Jared. Jared turns onto his side, facing him, and leans in for a quick kiss.

"Of course," he says. "I kinda love you, you big idiot."

Jensen bites his lip, heart beating fast in his chest. "I kinda love you, too," he replies softly and meets Jared's lips in another kiss.

He tangles their legs together, scooting closer and smiles against Jared's lips. He doesn't care that the door is open – his mom has already seen them make out and if she insists on keeping the door open, then she has to live with seeing it again. >


	4. Epilogue

"And here we have the birthday boy himself," Jensen says, grinning at Jared from behind the camcorder.

"Put that thing down, Jensen," Jared whines, and tries to shield his face.

"Oh c'mon. Birthday videos are a tradition."

"Yeah, and everyone else leaves a cute message for the birthday boy. Or girl. You're not supposed to film _me_."

"Jared." Jensen looks at Jared pleadingly. "Come on, don't be an ass."

"Fine," Jared says and sighs. "What do you want?"

Jensen beams and adjusts the camcorder, focusing on Jared, sitting on his bed. "How was your birthday?"

"Great," Jared says and when Jensen gives him an annoyed look, he elaborates, "We had awesome chocolate cake with icing –"

"Layers and layers of icing. And sprinkles," Jensen interrupts.

"Did you want to film _me_ or not?"

Jensen grins and waves Jared to go on.

"So, cake. Presents. A horribly off-key rendition of happy birthday. Barbeque," Jared lists. "Everything a good birthday needs."

"And how does it feel, finally being eighteen?" Jensen asks, voice teasing. "You're all grown up now, baby."

"And you're ancient, so you would know."

"I'm, like, four months older, douchebag."

"Ancient."

Jensen lowers the camera and closes the distance between them. "I'll show you ancient," he grumbles and straddles Jared's lap.

Jared laughs and leans up for a kiss. "Ancient," he drawls out again, words spoken against Jensen's lips and Jensen growls.

"Take it back or I'll sleep at my parents' place tonight."

Jared rolls his eyes. "As if you'd ever go through with that. You still owe me birthday sex anyway, so you're not allowed to leave. You promised."

"What am I? Your slave?"

"Mmm, that sounds awesome," Jared says happily. He grins at Jensen, pecking him on the lips and then pulls him down onto the mattress with him.

"Careful. Don't break my camcorder," Jensen warns.

"Yes, dear," Jared sing songs. He shifts until they're fully on the bed with their heads resting on the pillows. "Give me that."

He grabs the camcorder from Jensen's hand, flipping the screen around so they can see it. He holds the camcorder high up in the air, their faces appearing on the screen, and grins.

"Say hi, Jensen."

"Hi Jensen," Jensen echoes and Jared laughs, kicking Jensen as hard as he can with their bodies right next to each other.

"Be serious," he orders. "This is my birthday video, remember?"

Jensen grins and turns his head to the side, pressing a loud kiss to Jared's cheek. He turns back to face the camcorder. "Happy birthday, Jared," he says happily. "Eighteen, babe."

"Thank you," Jared replies sincerely.

Jensen turns towards him. "What else do you want me to say? There's already a message for you on there," he says. 

"You insisted on this," Jared points out. "I'm just the birthday boy. You're in charge of filming this important milestone in my life."

Jared grins, dimpled and happy, and Jensen frames his face with his hands and kisses him. Jared makes a soft, surprised noise but goes with it, eagerly parting his lips to let Jensen's tongue slide in and whimpering against Jensen's lips.

"Hope you got that on film," Jensen murmurs.

Jared flushes and glances at the camcorder he's still holding. "Yeah, I think I got it."

Jensen chuckles and takes the camcorder from Jared. He turns it off and sets it aside before turning back to Jared. 

They lay side by side, bodies facing each other and faces inches apart. Jensen tangles his fingers in Jared's hair.

"Good birthday?" he asks.

"Pretty awesome," Jared replies. He rests his hand on Jensen's waist, slides his thumb underneath the hem of Jensen's shirt. "It's a little weird. My eighteenth birthday – in a few weeks we'll all be leaving."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees softly. 

"I'm gonna miss everyone," Jared whispers, the smile sliding off his face. "I can't believe we're all going to different colleges."

"We're not," Jensen replies.

"Well, yeah. Of course not. But everyone else." Jared frowns. "I never thought we'd all end up splitting up. I always thought we'd all go to the same college, somehow, and nothing would change."

"I never thought Katie and Matt would go to different colleges."

"Yeah," Jared says, sighing unhappily. 

"At least we'll be together," Jensen reminds him, stroking his thumb over Jared's cheek.

"I wouldn't want to be without you."

"Me neither," Jensen murmurs. 

He leans in to kiss Jared, sweet and soft and then gives him another, this one lingering. Jared rests his hand on Jensen's hip and pulls their bodies flush together and Jensen feels a hot thrill run through his body, want pooling in his stomach. Jared parts his lips, tongue teasing out and Jensen chases it with his, twirling them together and making a happy, pleased noise in the back of his throat. He runs his hand down Jared's side until his fingers fist in the hem of Jared's shirt and he rucks it up, palm settling on naked skin. 

Jensen breaks the kiss, nibbling at Jared's bottom lip. 

"We'll be sharing a dorm, Jay," he murmurs, slipping his hand further up under Jared's shirt. "I'll get to have you like this every day. Every night."

Jared hums, smiling, and Jensen brushes their lips together and swears he can feel Jared's smile.

+

When he wakes up the next morning, the duvet is covering them and he's sprawled out over Jared's chest.

Jared's carding his fingers through Jensen's hair, and he leans into the touch sleepily, making a soft, content noise.

"Morning, Jay," he mumbles, turning his head to kiss Jared's chest.

"Morning," Jared replies, sounding much more awake than Jensen.

"Sorry. I was totally trapping you," Jensen says around a yawn and rolls off of Jared. Jared turns, tugging him back close and Jensen lets him even though its way too warm under the duvet and Jared's body is radiating heat.

"I don't mind," Jared replies. "But I think we should get up soon or my momma is gonna come bursting in here."

"Ugh, what time is it?"

"Almost noon," Jared says with a laugh. 

"Really?" Jensen rubs his eyes and blinks. "Fuck, sorry. Let's get up."

He rolls out of bed, stumbling a little as he gets caught in the sheets. It takes him a moment to find his jeans, and he grabs a new pair of boxers and a t-shirt from Jared, before peeking out the door and dashing across the hall into the bathroom. Jared follows him, locking the door behind them and piling his own clothes on top of Jensen's.

"Jared," Jensen says and gives Jared a look. "I'm taking a shower."

"Convenient. So am I."

"I'm not sure your parents will like that." Jensen pushes tubes and small pots and bottles aside that are probably all Megan's until he finds Jared's toothbrush among the mess.

"I'm not sure how I feel about you using my toothbrush," Jared replies with a frown.

"You kiss me but you're not okay with me using your toothbrush? How does that even make sense?" Jensen asks.

"I don't know. One is socially acceptable and the other would probably gross a lot of people out?" 

Jensen rolls his eyes. "That's stupid," he says. "Now get out of here and let me shower in peace before your parents find us in here together."

Jared rolls his eyes. "I just wanna shower with you. Seriously, my parents are fine with us sleeping in one bed – what's the difference?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe that they can pretend we're wearing clothes to bed. Showering implies nakedness."

Jared grins, nudging Jensen aside a little to make room for himself in front of the mirror. Jensen gives him an annoyed look and starts brushing his teeth.

"I'm pretty sure my parents don't think all we do is hold hands and stare into each other's eyes. We're both consenting adults and they're not delusional," Jared replies, peering at his face in the mirror. "Is that a pimple on my forehead?"

He brings his hand up, poking at his skin, and Jensen knocks his hand away. "Stop it," he mumbles around the toothbrush.

"I don't wanna have a pimple," Jared grouses.

Jensen squints into the mirror and rolls his eyes when he can't see anything. He grabs Jared's wrist with his free hand, pulling it away from his face and holding it tight. Jared sighs, leaning against the counter, and just watches Jensen. 

"Freak," Jensen says.

"You're cute in the morning," Jared replies with a grin.

Jensen spits foam into the sink. "I'm not cute," he protests and washes his mouth out with water before holding the toothbrush beneath the running water.

"The cutest," Jared teases, and Jensen hits him in the arm, before handing him the toothbrush.

"Brush your teeth," he orders.

"Yes, dear," Jared sing songs, and steps aside when Jensen tries to hit him again.

Jensen turns the shower on, adjusting the temperature, before stepping out of his briefs and into the shower. He fiddles with the temperature some more until it's perfect and turns his face up into the spray.

"Move," Jared says, stepping in behind Jensen. 

Jensen looks over his shoulder and moves to make room for him. 

"Ugh, small people," Jared teases, adjusting the height of the shower head. 

"Fuck you," Jensen replies, and elbows Jared.

"Jensen," Jared says with a fake look of surprise on his face. "What if my parents hear you say things like that?"

"I hate you," Jensen grouses, and Jared laughs. He wraps his arms around Jensen's waist, tugging him close and kissing his cheek.

"You love me," he says.

Jensen pushes wet hair out of his face and shrugs. 

"Say it," Jared prods, and Jensen lets out a long suffering sigh as he turns around in Jared's arms. Jared's hair is plastered to his forehead, water dripping steadily down from his nose and eyelashes and everywhere Jensen looks there are miles of wet, glistening skin.

"I love you," he says, and Jared dips down to kiss him.

"I love you, too," he murmurs against Jensen's lips and it makes Jensen's heart thunder in his chest.

He'll get to have this every morning once college starts in a few weeks, and the thought alone thrills Jensen. He'll wake up with Jared in one bed – if they manage to fit into one, though Jared is determined to make it work – and share showers with him. They'll fall asleep together and won't have to worry about parents and siblings or anyone else.

Four years ago, when Jensen had moved to Oak River, he'd thought he'd be miserable. He'd been convinced he'd hate every minute in the small town, wouldn't find a single person he'd want to be friends with who'd get Jensen. He'd felt like he didn't fit in, didn't want to fit in.

Four years later, he can't imagine that he would have found this kind of happiness anywhere else.

He pulls back and grins up at Jared, knowing every single one of his thoughts is written all over his face by the way Jared smiles back at him.

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from Johnny Cash's "Happiness Is You".


End file.
